PDA

View Full Version : What AP is NOT

harmonicker
08-01-2008, 06:55 AM
To help those new to AP let's talk about what AP is NOT in parenting...
harmonicker
08-01-2008, 06:56 AM
AP is not new...been around for a long time......and it just comes naturally....I like to think of it as human nature parenting.
PaxMamma
08-01-2008, 07:02 AM
NOT permissive parenting....
naomifrederickmd
08-01-2008, 07:09 AM
AP is not behaving as if your child is a "little emperor" --but treating your child as a human with needs, feelings and complex motivations. AP is not forcing your child to fit into your life, but creating a new life that fosters all family members needs.
EcoMaMa
08-01-2008, 08:04 AM
Not being a breastfeeding mother or babywearing parent, it is a lifetime commitment to nurture our families. AP families just happen to do those things. :)

I have families who have told me that they breastfed and have done the AP thing and their kids were too big. (Ages 2 and up)
mumtoone
08-01-2008, 06:44 PM
AP is not 'giving in' - Its treating your baby as you would want to be treated in the same situation.
Kelly
08-02-2008, 01:46 AM
It is not hippie! :p A suburban soccer mom can be just as intuitive, empathic and responsive to her children as anyone else.
havecompassion
08-07-2008, 06:50 AM
AP is not for Mom's only.
PaxMamma
08-07-2008, 07:41 AM
AP is not for Mom's only.

:yeah
totally agree!
EcoMaMa
08-07-2008, 11:10 AM
Well apparently this guy has a list of what AP is not and thinks it is?
http://www.bestnaturalparenting.info/why-attachment-parenting-is-disastrous-for-children/
PaxMamma
08-07-2008, 11:54 AM
WHAT??!! WHO is this guy? and where did he get so much misguided information? for an "expert", he sure provides a lot of unintelligent ideas.
runrebeccaray
08-08-2008, 11:16 PM
ah, he's perpetuating the "child-centered" negativity that surrounds AP. I hate it when folks think we absolutely neglect ourselves. i guess they failed to read the 8th principle. we are family centered!! if the AP style of parenting is so tough on my marriage, then how in the world did we conceive baby #2, Mr. Grose?
--Rebecca
PaxMamma
08-09-2008, 06:46 AM
not just that, his entire concept was off! AP and EC have nothing to do w/each other. and, even in the AP community, nursing until 6 is quite rare! these are not the point of AP at all!!
PaxMamma
08-09-2008, 06:47 AM
not just that, his entire concept was off! AP and EC have nothing to do w/each other. and, even in the AP community, nursing until 6 is quite rare! these are not the point of AP at all!!

we have quite a few families in our group w/multiple kids. one just gave birth to #8 and another will soon have #5. nearly all of us have more than 1.
Kelly
08-09-2008, 10:55 AM
That infuriates me, reading articles like that. From someone who has NO idea. I work really hard to advocate AP and educate people about what it really entails, and then to read an article like that from a parenting "expert"...it just fuels mainstream parents' argument for traditional discipline. grrrr...

AP and EC have nothing to do w/each other.
This is just a side note, but I actually think that AP and EC have a lot to do with each other....It's all about being in close communication with your child's needs. But one is not an indicator of the other, and you're right that it shouldn't have been lumped in to his "argument"!
naomifrederickmd
08-09-2008, 01:44 PM
So that brings us to
AP is not "one size fits all" parenting. It is a larger umbrella that has more to do with the relationship then any specific behaviour such as co-sleeping, nursing or EC (elimination communication or diaper free baby--if you are reading this and have never heard of that)
AP is parenting approach not a "must do" list for parents to check off.
PaxMamma
08-09-2008, 07:11 PM
:yeah
precisely what i meant, naomi. there are tons of behaviors that i think flow naturally out of an AP lifestyle, but are certainly not necessities to upholding the Principles. you could interview all nearly 800 (as of today) of us on this board and find thousands of variations on what it "looks" like.
mama4love
08-09-2008, 07:30 PM
I was talking to dh about this topic this morning and he started laughing. There are times when we would like to have more time as a couple time, but it has absolutely nothing to do with being an AP family and everything to do with having 4 children and pregnant with the 5th. You're not going to find too many people willing to watch 4 extra children, with one of them being high needs. This guy obviously has no clue about what AP is and is only judging by a stereotype.

I really don't get what's so wrong about respecting your child(ren) and showing them you do care about they're thinking/feeling. People like him have no clue whatsoever and I feel horrible for his children (if he has any).
rmj22
08-11-2008, 10:08 PM
Don't usually visit the main forum, but I saw this and had to write.

I turned my parents to AP, although they wouldn't know to call it that. My second child was very "needy," perhaps colicky. For the first four months, she refused to be held or comforted by anyone but me, not even her father. I wore her constantly, and nursed her exclusively until she started self-feeding. My parents kept telling me I would spoil her, that she would never learn to be independent.

Before she even reached her second birthday, they changed their minds. They told me that they admired me as a parent, that I had seen a need in my child and responded to it, and had produced a very independent, self-secure individual.

Just a couple of weeks ago, my MIL was visiting, and she told me that my third, who is 11 mos old, is spoiled because we wouldn't put him in a playpen (we don't own one, anyway), with some toys, and expect him to be happy ALL DAY while we stained windows. Instead, we asked my mom to come over and play with him and keep him away from the chemicals. When my MIL said this, and that we hold him too much, she looked to my mom for agreement, but my mom just looked at her and said nothing. (That's her way, and the best response in this situation - not worth making waves.)
jrflutist
09-15-2008, 09:06 PM
http://www.bestnaturalparenting.info...-for-children/
What a strange website! The articles before and after talked favorably of AP. Anyone with half a wit will just disregard those ramblings.
AP is not practiced enough.
signingspangler
10-08-2008, 08:02 PM
Well apparently this guy has a list of what AP is not and thinks it is?
http://www.bestnaturalparenting.info/why-attachment-parenting-is-disastrous-for-children/

That guy is hilariopus! I wrote an email, inviting him to contact me if he wants to tell the truth, how outrageous!

!!!!
naomifrederickmd
11-21-2008, 03:14 AM
AP is not doing things out of fads but of the needs of the family.
Juleen
11-21-2008, 03:29 PM
Oh my God - you can tell this guy is a pompous a@#! My expectation of a parenting expert would be someone who can make informed and intelligent arguments (among other things), even if they don't agree with something. Where is he getting his information from?! I'm stymied that someone would be brave enough to write something so ignorant on the web. There was someone above who said they emailed him, did he write you back?! I'd love to get him in a room with a bunch of us :)
OwlWise
11-29-2008, 04:31 PM
sounds good to me!
roseanna
12-02-2008, 10:00 AM
sounds like he's the guy who got kicked out of the bedroom :(
Shqiptar
04-16-2009, 10:11 PM
AP is not for Mom's only.

That's what i like to hear lol.

Let me add this. For some reason people think you have to hold your baby all the time. It seems when people have trouble with attachment parenting it is because they are not doing it right. They take it to such an extreme that it becomes bad lol.