ANOTHER frequent waker. (long)

[mumtoone]

I posted something similar a few weeks ago.... I am thinking I want to get DS in a crib at night. Here is some background.

DS - ten months next week - sleeps in his crib (next to our bed) for naps and at night before we go to bed. He wakes just after we get into bed and wants to come in with us. So for the rest of the night we co-sleep.

He is now getting on the large side, and I think that our nocturnal movings are waking him up. It has gotten to the point where he wakes if I roll over, just to make sure I'm not leaving I think. Then of course I have to feed him because he is awake. So I am faced with having to sleep in one position all night or I wake him up! My back is killing me. He will go back to sleep with a cuddle, but only if I sit up and rock him. We have tried a sidecar arrangement but DS was not having a bar of it!

He has a couple of naps during the day. Always wakes at the half hour mark, but I can often get him back to sleep and he will go for another hour. When he first goes down at night and I am not right there he will sleep for up to three hour stretches. This also means that napping with him is a no go as he wakes every fifteen min or so, and I end up feeling worse then if I hadn't bothered.

I am keen to get him into his crib for the night... I think it will help us all to sleep a bit better. Problem is that if we are in the bed next to him he just LOOSES IT if I try and put him in the crib. I dont really want to put him in another room. He is still waking to feed, (on top of the other wakings) so dont really want to be faced with a walk down the hall a few times a night! Besides, I like having him close.

I think that separation anxiety may have started too... so that does make it harder.

Something has got to change though. He is awake every half hour (or more) and it can take up to an hour to get him asleep again. I am seriously only getting about an hours sleep all up. I just cant keep this up any longer. I feel terrible because I do love having him in bed with us. Nothing nicer than a good snuggle. But something has got to change. I simply cannot function on so little sleep and DS is obviously still tired when he gets up in the morning. :(

So any advise or ideas would be appreciated. I have been doing 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' for the last couple of months. There has been success as far as he no longer needs to fall asleep on the breast........ but it has not made a difference to how often he wakes up, as she said it would in the book (yeah I know, all babies are different and all that good stuff... I did have high hopes though). :rolleyes:

Any ideas from those who have made the transition. Obviously because I am on this site I am not interested in CIO. I dont care if it takes awhile. Oh, and DH is willing to help.... but DS is unimpressed with his attempts. :p

Thanks. Sorry this is so long. :D

[Emiliacw]

I don't know what to tell you as my 10 mo daughter does the similar sleep patterns... so you are not alone!!! I guess I would say try to at least sleep those 3 hours when he first falls asleep at night to at least get a little more rest. I had a really hard time giving into lying down with her for naps ( I would try to do things while she was asleep) and getting some rest too, but when I did she has been napping longer and I have been getting at least an extra hour worth of rest myself.

[NicoleL]

I've never done the crib transition so I can't help you specifically with that. I can share a different experience though that might or might not apply.

Like you, I strongly felt that my 2nd should sleep near us. He hit 3 months old and started crying inconsolably for many hours a day :(. I did some thinking and realized that he was TIRED. He'd fall asleep during the day and then ODS or myself (or the dogs or my DH or whatever) would make a noise and he'd wake up and be so interested in his surroundings that he wouldn't fall back asleep. The poor kid was miserable! It felt VERY wrong, but ultimately the solution was to put him in a swing in a bedroom by himself and close the door. It went against everything I felt was right BUT he bought him a few hours at a time of good quality sleep and he became a new child. This period only last around 2mos and then he was able to nap around us again.

The whole experience made me realize that I was getting too hung up on arbitrary "rules" rather than looking to my child to see what HE needed. The point being that it might be worth trying for a night or two to see if your DS sleeps better in another room IF that's what he needs and IF that works for you. If he cries then stop the experiment, it's as easy as that. It doesn't have to be all-or-nothing either - you can start the night apart and then finish together (I know that makes you walk down the hall and I wouldn't want to do that either!). Some kids really do need to sleep alone in the quiet. IMO, it's more important to look at your child and see what they need than to follow some set of rules perfectly.

Re-reading my post I feel like I sound like I'm advocating separate sleep, which I absolutely am not. What I'm trying to say is that it's more important to do what your kid needs than it is to worry about parenting to an ideal. AP is about being close to your child and following their cues.