Anyone else get the "you've got your hands full"?

[mamma_joy]

It's funny, when I'm wearing my DD in the sling, I seem to get more comments about having my hands full than when I'm running around chasing her or even if I'm trying to lug her. I guess I find it funny since my hands are usually empty when they are saying it--but I end up smiling and nodding to be nice.

Anyone else get this comment or others that make you smirk on the inside?

[LisaS]

All the time! My hands are empty when dd is being worn so maybe they are just impressed with our multi-tasking abilities! :)

[harmonicker]

Oh yes..I remember those comments..all the time!..lol...people always wanted to help me for some reason two and I woudl always hold up both of my hands and say it is OK I have free hands and smile :)

[PaxMamma]

yet another expression gone wrong :D
i've never gotten those kinds of comments, always people impressed w/"that thing i'm wearing".

my favorite one was "oh, i wish they'd had things like that when i had my babies." i always said, "these have been around since the beginning of time. women have always worn their babies until the baby toy industry told us to put our babies down so they could sell us stuff."

[Garden Mama]

When I just had the little one in the sling and his brother was at home, no one ever said anything but "awww how cute". But if I had baby in sling+ toddler running around, then I might get the "you've got your hands full" thing. I wonder what kinds of things people will say when I have our 3rd baby in june and I'm chasing a 3yo and 2yo down the street!

[mamma_joy]

I guess I have heard that more when I've had mine or other little ones around--multitasking=hands full?

It is funny when I have new parents tell me their list of things they "need". All we needed was our bed, some diapers, and a sling! (well, more than one sling---I "need" to match!) ;)

[LisaS]

It is funny when I have new parents tell me their list of things they "need". All we needed was our bed, some diapers, and a sling! (well, more than one sling---I "need" to match!) ;)

One can never have enough slings, wraps, etc. I have at least three in each car at any given time. :)

[mamma_joy]

and at least one on each floor of our house! :D

[harmonicker]

(well, more than one sling---I "need" to match!) ;)
LOL..oh do not get me started.....

[PaxMamma]

LOL..oh do not get me started.....

ha! maybe we should start a Sling Addicts thread....

[dharmagrlpa]

I'm a first time mama and put my baby in a sling at a week old. I have gotten the "can he breath in there" question or "he must be suffocating" snide comment quite a few times.

I usually use the oppurtunity to explain benefits of baby-wearing,but over the weekend I actually snapped at one rude women.:mad:

People and their need to voice their opinions.......

[ewins]

I get this all the time. "I wish they had those when my baby was little"! Or the "Doesn't that hurt your back?" or even the "Why are you wearing them and not using a stroller?" People just annoy the crap out of me!

[mamma_joy]

I know it can be annoying when you get all the comments. If there's time, it can be a teaching moment, but just being out there and showing a different way is just as educational!

In our society, there are so many people that just don't know there is a different way! That's what happens in a society where we've had so many interventions that parent's instincts are seen as "far out there" or weird (crib vs. co-sleeping, bottle vs. breast, car seat/stroller vs. sling, c-section vs. natural birth). You aren't making an informed decision if you only know mainstream's point of view--but you don't even know what you don't know so you can't ask questions either.

I find that I may not have much impact on some first time moms I meet, but when she has her second and is in the phase of growth/questioning--and needs her hand to take care of the other one--having seen me babywear finally starts to click as a valid option when before it may have seemed useless and inconvenient.

I do usually agree that my babe is heavy--but at 2yrs. 30 lbs., she'd be impossible to carry nursing/sleeping if it wasn't for the sling. I think mostly people's looks are out of wonderment--not meant to be rude, although there are some that do come across as snide. I always go back to the thought--if they didn't/aren't doing it the same way you are, one of you must be "wrong" so sometimes the comments are coming from their insecurities and have little to do with you!

[pegmum]

my favorite one was "oh, i wish they'd had things like that when i had my babies." i always said, "these have been around since the beginning of time. women have always worn their babies until the baby toy industry told us to put our babies down so they could sell us stuff."

Oh MAN! am I with you there! people are always saying how neat that "thing" is... they sure didnt' have stuff like that when I had little ones... um, ok ;)

[atomicmassunit]

I get the "hands full" comment all the time. For me it always comes when I am carrying my DD in my wonderful Mei Tai and walking my two Jack Russells. I honestly don't know what I would do if I didn't have the Mei Tai, we live on a third floor apartment (no elevator) and the carrier is the only way I feel safe with DD getting the dogs out to walk.
amu

[apimarianne]

This is a great thread!

yeah I usually get the "boy you got your hands full" when I am out with my 4 kids, youngest in my carrier. It is usually when I am really multi-tasking and doing a good job that someone says something. I usually say with a smile, "I do and aren't I so lucky!" No one notices (or maybe they are afraid to comment with steam coming out of my ears) when I am struggling to stay sane when shopping and my older 3 are running around. I take it honestly as only a compliment.

I am all for the Sling Addicts Anonymous group, as long as we make it a group member perk to get 10% discount on new baby carriers!! I can never have enough Ha-Ha:laughbounce

[naomifrederickmd]

OMG yes! I usually get the "you have your hands full" line when I have my 3yr old and 2yr old that I babysit in the double stroller.. and My 7mo old in a carrier of some sort... I just take it to mean that they want to say something and that is what came out of their mouth!

When my first son was 6 weeks old we went to the county fair and I got a few comments relating to "isn't he uncomfortable" I always responded that he was in my belly like that.. and those ladies seemed to agree, but grudgingly.

[MrsPooh]

"these have been around since the beginning of time. women have always worn their babies until the baby toy industry told us to put our babies down so they could sell us stuff."

all I have to say is... WORD!

I always get people telling me, "You know, its okay to put him down"

and I retort, "Not to him!"

[MamaLion]

When he was little and had his head between my breasts everyone said that "that is were anyone would rather sleep"

When he got slightly bigger and was awake when we were out, then he became "heavy"

He was 16ish lbs at one 1 year, is that heavy?? :rolleyes:

At 2.5 I was also told, oh that must hurt your back! I said actually it hurts less in a sling than just carrying him around (which is true) and they would be shocked.

If I ever want to change the AP topic we're on, I just mention we don't own a TV LOL

[smurfsammy]

One of the most frustrating comments I get is: "Your going to pay for that when your dd get's older, you'll never be able to set her down and she'll never sleep by herself" as well as "how is she comfortable, don't you get tired of carrying her, or you can't get much done wearing her (as i only own a sling at this point and can't do any hard labour), and the eternally frustrating your spoiling her" I even had to sit down with my mother in law and give her a psychology lesson and it's history to get her to leave me alone!

[tarahelen4]

as a mom of 4, and I nearly always have 4 with me... I hear this all the time. I usually respond, "yes, happily so!" Then usually, they smile back, surprised, and comment on the happy baby or smiling toddler, or the respectful child. It is all perspective, and when comes down to it... lots of people just like to complain and be negative.

[layla]

im sure ive gotten it but i dont really recall clear instances.
the one that sticks with me is when some guy (who i think was drunk) at the library said something like 'hey miss, did you know you have a baby on your back?' then he started laughing.


way back when my oldest was only 3 months i was in a mall with her sleeping in my new native(then my only sling) and he got all concerned about her being able to breathe and i had just freshly learned all the benefits of slings and must have talked on for a half hour... he was a convert after that. cool too because he worked at the babies r us store...

[Mamalexi]

i also get that all the time as soon as people find out that i have 3 kids. i just say "yeah" and smile politely because i DO have my hands full, lol!

[vabonnett]

I kid you not when I say that I read this thread and that very same day my parents came, saw my youngest in her sling and said (in a matter of seconds) "Can she breathe?" "Does she really like it in there?" "Do you need to get the next size for her?" "Is she comfy?" "She sure looks squished." I just stared at them because I thought maybe it was some sort of bizarre joke! :) But, yes, I do get those questions a lot. I do find that I get moms who have honestly either not seen a sling used before or a certain kind I am using. I just assume that if they've never seen one before they need my "you have to get a sling speech". ;)

[naomifrederickmd]

"oh, i wish they'd had things like that when i had my babies." Oh I HATE that one too because they DID have them!
I want to say" I wish the child raising culture of our country was open to that sort of thing when you were raising children, but we are still getting over the victorian? attitude that you were not supposed to touch or even smile at your children."

[vabonnett]

I also think that slings are considered to be used only for nursing mothers. I remember when I went to "boob group" with my oldest and I was really struggling with breastfeeding her (I only did it 6 weeks, it was awful and if I knew then what I knew now...but that's a different thread), I saw the women using slings and associated them with nursing. When I stopped going to group, I didn't think a thing about asking how to get a sling. It wasn't until my SIL had my nephew and started using hot slings and mei tei's that I even knew about the marvelous world of slings. Now I have at least 4 of them and I even got one for my husband to use since he's a SAHD and my daughter insists on being slung constantly. :) I know for a fact that I'm the first woman in my family to use a sling a child (and I have 4 aunts and many girl cousins).

[andieromano]

I love this topic, as when my son was 4 months old, we went to a pumpkin farm. I had him in the maya sling because I wanted to be able to nurse him and have him take a nap. I also didn't know what the terrain was, and didn't want to take the stroller.

We walked up to my sister-in-law and her friend, and the friend said, "aww isn't he a momma's boy!" To which my [B][I]husband [B][I]replied, "yeah, we have to break him of that!" [he has since changed his attitude as we go to different family/friend gatherings and hears, "my what a sweet little boy! I wish ________ (fill in the blank) was that way."

On a positive note, I have had many moms become more open to me about where to find such slings, and it has opened the door to many a naysayer for very positive conversations.

I'm glad I found this group, and have been blessed to find a friend who introduced me to LLL where I found out about API. Not everyone has someone in their lives who is willing to help them become the mother they want to be.