Daycare dilemmas

[LLMom]

I am mum to a wonderful 18mth old son. I am a teacher and am about to return to work after my summer off. Last year we were fortunate enough to have my DS taken care of 4 mornings a week by his grandparents, and he went to a home daycare 1 morning a week (I work part-time). This year he will be attending a Montessori school 3 mornings a week, and I am terrified about how he will adjust to this (the other 2 mornings he will be at home with grandma). We have visited the school a few times, and he has seen the classroom and met the teacher. However, because it is summer holidays there as well, the class was empty and we have been unable to make a gradual adjustment to the setting for him as I was last year with the home daycare. We are going to a "meet the teacher" day for about an hour, but I will be there with him. I feel awful that I won't be able to gradually introduce him to the setting, especially because he doesn't adjust well to new settings and new people. I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this type of situation, and if so, if anyone has any tips on how to make the adjustment easier for him; I have been telling him that mummy will be going to work soon, and that he will be going to play school and I will get him after lunch. His reply to this is typically "no no no." I am scared that the lack of gradual adjustment will be really disruptive to him, and am so concerned that this will adversely affect his acceptance of the school. Any suggestions are so appreciated. Thanks!

[PaxMamma]

would his grandmother be willing to offer a bit more help for the first week or two? could she take him for increasing increments of time as he adjusts? then she could revert to your original plan of 2 days/week.

[APJennifer]

Have you talked to the teachers there about your concerns? I've found that most daycare/preschool teachers have dealt with this before, and may have suggestions for helping your son. Also, it will be good to get a feel for how seriously they take your concerns about this adjustment for him. For one of my daughters, we had an at-home daycare provider who worked with her/us extensively on making drop-off time easier for her over a few month period. Her daycare provider suggested lots of different things to try, and we eventually found that her meeting my DD at the door with bubbles (her favorite) and me not even coming in with her worked the best. I felt so much better just knowing that her adjustment was being taken seriously, and then of course that we came up with a solution that worked.