Permanent Marker Rules: the 10% of rules made only by the parent. Non-negotiable, and apply to everyone; friends, neighbors, relatives, kids, parents
Washable Marker Rules: the 80% of rules made with input from kids and parents. They must work for everybody, and anyone can bring them up for discussion or change.
Pencil Rules: the 10% of rules made only by the children. They can be changed at any time by the children, and all must abide by them. They cannot affect safety, mutual respect, or core values.
So, how are you doing on this mix? What percentage of the rules in your house fall into each of these categories? Are most of your rules up for discussion?
What are the permanent marker rules in your home? What are the pencil rules?
One of our permanent marker rules is "no hitting". One of our pencil rules is that stuffed animals must be gently placed in a comfortable-looking position, not tossed nor thrown into place.