"Children don't usually wake up one day and think, 'I'm going to bug the heck out of my parents today. It's going to be fun. I'm going to watch their anxiety and displeasure with glee!' Most children do not intentionally set out to bug their parents. They do try to get their own needs met, sometimes at the cost of their parent's needs. However, it's not about us. It's all about them.
When children willfully disobey, they are saying, 'My needs matter more than yours right now'. Usually it's a pattern of where one person's needs are met in the relationship, and they are usually not the child's. They are usually the parent's needs. A parent would do better to really examine what the child is communicating." (p. 63)
When combining that passage with the discussion of Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs on pages 64-66, I really had an "ah-ha" moment. I never really thought of the need to run around and be active as a core survival need, for example. or the need to be free of ridicule (from wearing a helmet) as a security need. Very enlightening!