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AATH: Husband and Wife relationship

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  • AATH: Husband and Wife relationship

    Pg 53:
    Studies have shown that the quality of a woman's relationship with her husband or partner has a substantial effect on the emotional and physical well-being of her baby... The relationship with the spouse or partner will never be tested more than in the parenting journey. This will probably be the first experience of putting one's own needs aside and, together, putting the needs of another human being first -- particularly in the early months when both parents are on call twenty-fours a day!

    I think this was the hardest part, was realizing that I needed to put my dd needs first and yet I missed the intimacy and relationship that my husband and I had prior to becoming parents. We love being parents but sometimes you mourn that time period because you feel like you'll never have it again. My DD is now 5 years old and we are slowly able to get back to us, to get back that intimacy we had before except that it is different... almost like it is deeper. KWIM?

  • #2
    I was completely shocked by how much time my newborn baby (my first) took. I could hardly believe at the time of how difficult it is to try to get a shower or nap in, let alone time with my husband. It caught him off-guard, too, and our marriage really struggled for a bit there. Three years later, and another baby added to the family, we've found our balance...for now. That's something I eventually came to grips with -- my relationships with my husband is always changing and evolving just like my relationships with my children. Sometimes, some days, some moments, it's hard to feel connected; other times, all is great.

    But I wholeheartedly agree with the point that the marriage has to be strong for the benefit of the children. It's just a great balancing act, I guess. We all need to get our needs met sometime, but have to learn that sometimes we have to wait.

    That's one of the many things AP has over other parenting styles. Yes, we're meeting our children's needs, but we're not completely child-centered. Mom and Dad's needs still matter. I thought the book told that perspective very well -- that the parents need balance, they need to met their own needs, to be able to meet their children's needs. It's a great way of putting that when someone criticizes AP as too child-centered.


    • #3
      I loved what you wrote here. It is so very true.