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Sleep comments made to you

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  • Sleep comments made to you

    What were or are the most common sleep comments made to you?

    When my daughter was 6 months old, I had this mother over with her elder son who was 3 years older than my daughter and her daughter in which they were only 6 months apart in age. Immediately upon meeting her for a playgroup she asked about sleep and I explained our arrangements. She immediately started to tell me that my daughter was going to have sleep problems as an adult and would never know how to put herself to sleep.

    I had another friend fervently try and push the "Ferberizer" on me saying that it would fix everything. And then my uncle said if they sleep with you you'll never get them out of the bed; they co-slept with my cousin (their daughter) until she was about 6 years old.

    The thing about the above is that I never complained about wanting to change anything. they would ask, I would respond in honesty and then given these solutions to the sleep. That was the most frustrating part.

    Now the friend who was trying to push Ferber on me for 2 years has a her little girl that cannot go to sleep until she messes with herself because it's the only thing that will relax her enough. I KNOW there is no sexual misconduct going on at the house and the pedatrician told my friend the same thing on why she does it. Not to brag but my daughter has a peaceful night's sleep and looks forward to bedtime snuggles :-)

    I'd love to hear your sleep stories/journey's.

  • #2
    After the first judgmental comment we set up a crib in his playroom. We only use it for show; he doesn't actually sleep in it. But the way I see it our family's habits aren't really anyone else's business. Maybe when society has progressed back to what it once was and co sleeping becomes the norm again we'll be more open about it.

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    • #3
      Most issues of late are concerning when our eldest (5yrs) spends the night at his grandparents and more often then not wakes up and come to sleep with one of them. A non-co-sleeping neice also did that at this age but still it might be blamed one 'the co-sleeping'.

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      • #4
        I was warned about "allowing" Zak to sleep while wearing him- that he'd never learn to sleep otherwise. This is despite the fact that he sleeps at night quite well, and I don't march him through the halls in his Moby wrap all night.

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        • #5
          It's so sad that people do stick their nose in other families business. I haven't heard of any bedsharing / co-sleeping family that sticks their nose into another's family and tells them about the opportunities they are missing by not bedsharing / co-sleeping. Hmm, maybe as AP gets to be more recognizable it will ;-)

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          • #6
            My most irritating sleep "discussion" was with the new nurse practitioner at my daughter's pediatricians office. Her pediatrician has always been great never even discussing our sleeping arrangements, just telling me to keep doing what I'm doing. At my daughters 1 year we saw this new nurse practitioner and she asked how often my daughter nurses I was honest she nurses 3-4 times a night. The next thing I know she's quoting Ferber. I told her to stop I disagree with him and she continued to rant about how my daughter was not waking because she was hungry and I would have a 2 year old who would not be able to sleep and I wouldn't be able to comfort. AHHHHHHHH I wanted to strangle the woman. I informed our pediatrician that we would not be seeing the nurse practitioner again!

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            • #7
              Wow, that must have been so frustrating and infuriating as well. It's just not something you expect to be slammed with at the doctor's office when you've been having no p roblem with any of the other doctors. What was the response of your pediatrician when you told them that you wouldn't be seeing her again?

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              • #8
                I was impressed he asked me what had happened and I told him, he was appalled at what she had said, he said he would definitely be talking to her, and that when I call to make my appointments to make it a point to tell the receptionist that I did not want to see her, and that I would only see him or the other pediatrician. I really hope she changes her ways before she derails a mom who isn't as secure in her choices!

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                • #9
                  I have had countless comments made about co-sleeping with my daughter. From the "she'll never be able to settle herself down until you make her learn", "you'll regret having her in your bed, you'll never get her out", "what happens if you become sick and hospitalized she can't sleep without you nursing her. you should teach her now before something like that happens", the most aggrivating "your causing your dd psychological damage. I read it on the internet". The last one was the easiest to deal with. I worked for a while in an adolescent psychiatric treatment facility and custody center. I can honestly say that while employed there I had yet to work with a child who's behvioural problems (both psychiatric and children who were in "Jail" so to speak) where from being from a loving, understanding environment. The majority of the children i worked with were children who had been removed from homes or felt detached from the parents. That to me spoke volumes about why i decided attatchment parenting and co-sleeping where high on my lists (even though the dr.s, nurses and just about everyone in my community disagrees with my parenting style)

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                  • #10
                    "what happens if you become sick and hospitalized she can't sleep without you nursing her. you should teach her now before something like that happens",
                    I think this 'reason' is laughable. What if all the crib sleeping children were putt in a situation where they didn't have cribs and their only option was to sleep somewhere else/with a parent? (such as evacuating from a disaster etc)

                    All parents will likely 'do their best' I'm sure if presented with unusual or sudden events but to suggest that we should parent like the event will happen is silly!

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                    • #11
                      I can't agree more, my Mom actually told me that I should change our sleeping arrangements because what if I got sick and had to be away, seriously I should plan my entire parenting style on a what if?

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