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What do you do when overwhelmed?

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  • What do you do when overwhelmed?

    Barbara and Lysa write in their book:

    "Remaining sensitive and empathic when faced with a crying, inconsolable infant can be very hard for many parents. It calls for a lot of awareness and a lot of patience. This doesn't typically come easily or naturally -- especially if you weren't raised that way. At times, you may find it difficult to be emotionally responsive, especially when you are feeling exhausted or are experiencing a lot of stress in other areas of your life... Even the best of parents can become dangerously overwhelmed without support and rest."

    What do you do when you are overwhelmed, stressed or unable to respond empathically in the moment?

  • #2

    What do I do when overwhelmed?

    Assuming it is because of behavior on the part of my DS:

    First, I remember that I didn't 'start' AP until I found out about it. (DS was 18 months or so) Therefore things MIGHT be different had I had more information.

    Next, I try to take a deep breath. Or three.

    If I have to I walk away. Briefly. Usually it is enough to get me to think before I speak or act.

    Punt. If I have no information on the topic (and will be posting questions as soon as I can figure out WHERE the heck to put them!) I simply respond as best I can, by either distraction, relocation or some combination of the two.

    I'll read up on things after the fact and either kick myself or say 'aha, there IS a better way!'

    Generally, when it is DH I am overwhelmed by:

    Punt. He doesn't want to be told what to do. He says he wants to be AP but will sit there and exert his will (tired or not) on DS then wonder why DS cries. He is the father and that's that. On paper and in conversation, he's very 'on board'. In practice however...I have to step in occasionally to grease the works in order to keep my son from being totally devastated by lack of any input in the works.

    DH also practices his way or the high way. Each time I step in, he'll defer to me, but he will express extreme dissatisfaction in front of DS with my interference, as well as his disappointment and whole host of other negative emotions towards DS.

    How do I cope with being overwhelmed? Research and more research. Reading as much AP as I can. Talk to the few people online who are in a yahoo ap conference locally who actually respond with suggestions. Try to stay offline when DS is awake unless checking for email/weather. Try to find as many sources of AP news without spending $ which is DH's other pet peeve. Everything I want to learn here cost $. He is the sole source of that $, and feels that not only do I not earn my keep by keeping house, I don't do a good job of parenting either. (this changes with his mood, of course).

    How do I cope with being overwhelmed? One Day At A Time Without The Grace Of Coffee Or Sugar While Pregnant!

    DS and I review our days together. I write down more memorable moments and draw little pictures in his 'Ladybug Book'. A simple notebook.

    Until then, breastfeeding, bedsharing, and As MUCH AP AS I can figure out how to do Mama waiting to hear How You keep from being overwhelmed.

    Oh, and have a G3 computer. So most of AP forum stuff takes about 9 years to get up and running. So if you send me a response, personally or here, be patient. It may be a month before I receive it.

    Before pregnancy? Ice cream. Considering finances, it was about once a month. ; )


    • #3
      For me, I tend to look at all that I am doing and choosing to simplify or to just take a break from things that day to regain my balance. I also talk to my husband about how I am feeling to receive his feedback and receive his balance.

      What about you?