The findings of attachment research suggest that insecurely attached children not only end up in poorly attached marriages and relationships, but in turn also raise insecurely attached children. Fortunately, however, it has been shown that some adults who expore their own insecurely attached shortcomings can heal and become more attached as adults and parents. Belsky found that adults who simply have a coherent understanding of the negative consequences of their own insecure attachment, and who can remain effective parents during highly stressful situations, are able to raise securely attached children. He calls these adults "earned secures". Others have similarily found that the cycle can be broken through intellectual means. Ultimately, many heal themselves by successfully developing a strongly attached relationship with a mate or child.
Are you a "earned secure"? How long do you feel you have been an "earned secure" and how have you healed yourself?