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Playful Parenting - Pg 43 - What insecure attachment looks like

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  • Playful Parenting - Pg 43 - What insecure attachment looks like

    Children who are not securely attached, on the other hand, tend to be either anxious and clingy, or withdrawn and shut down. They may not feel safe, even with the people closest to them, or they may be unable to venture out confidently. They might appear adventurous, but insecurely attached children are more likely to be reckless than truly adventurous. Their cup is empty, or nearly empty.

    Children with a secure attachment can soothe themselves, can handle their emotions, pay attention, connect well with peers, and feel good about themselves and the world.

    Comparing your childhood with your child's what category do you both fall into?

  • #2
    Secure attachment looks like.....

    "Children with a secure attachment can soothe themselves, can handle their emotions, pay attention, connect well with peers, and feel good about themselves and the world."

    My 5 year old is very securely attached, thanks to API and some dear friends who led me to it, but he is not connecting well with his peers. For a while there, I was convinced that almost any behavior problem or difference could be traced to insecure attachment!

    After reading The Active Alert Child
    , I feel less guilt about his bossy outbursts and I am able to more effectively intervene when he starts telling his friends The Rules! He also does not seem to have the attention span for many things that his peers do - sitting to write or color does not interest him. Again, a little time will most likely change that. I am confident that there are some in-born traits that come with the child that have little to do with how securely attached he is. Does that make sense? I am also reading Gabor Mate's When the Body Says NO! which attributes many maladies to poor relationships throughout life and an inability to identify one's emotional boundaries/anger expression.

    Thoughts?

    Comment


    • #3
      I am wondering if the information written is more applicable to the upper school-age child. It would seem that children around 5 would be developmentally on target for the "leadership/bossiness" of his peers because at that age they know what they want or imagine how they want it played and want to tell their peers how to do it. Also, at 5, I wouldn't imagine a big attention span. Do you think this statement/written words might be more applicable to the older school age child?

      Comment

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