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repairing hurt, is it possible?

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  • repairing hurt, is it possible?

    Hello again...

    I want to address the question in Tricia's post more directly. Do you think it's possible to "repair" mistakes parents might have made before they were aware of Attachment Theory? Do you think couples can repair after they've hurt each other?
    I do believe that repair is possible when, as a parent or partner, I am ready to own MY part in the rupture that has occured. Attachment theory makes it clear that our fundamental need to connect is basic and universal. We all have the need to feel heard and seen. Before I understood that, I might have behaved in discounting ways in the service of maintaining control in my relationship or my family. When I understand the needs of the child in my life, or my partner to be heard, and I take on the challange to provide the deep listening, validation and empathy for that person...a new level of connection can emerge, and healing and repair can take place...