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Info needed on month long separation

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  • Info needed on month long separation

    I am working to help a friend find information on the effects of a month long separation. Her and her husband are in the process of moving. She will be in one state as he is in another settling into their new home. It will probably be several months before she is able to move to with him. They will be about 10 driving hours apart from each other. There is a good reason for this, but I cannot reveal it.

    So, her husband's idea was that their child who is 1.5 yo would stay with mom for a month and dad for a month and keep switching back and forth until the move is complete. The child is still nursing too. Can any one recommend any good AP reads on this kind of separation? She is feeling this month long separation isn't for her, but it might help her to have some more information to help her choose.

  • #2
    Wow what a difficult situation. I read a book about separation which really discusses the importance of continuity of care, especially in the first three years of life. Although dad is important in the child's life going back and forth between the two may disrupt this concept of continuity. Since the child is nursing, how would they address that with mom being gone?

    The book that I'm referencing is called Being There: The Benefits of a Stay-At-Home-Parent by Isabelle Fox, Ph.D. Isabelle Fox is on the API Advisory Board as well.

    I hope this helps.


    • #3
      Three related articles

      There are a couple of articles I've read that address this, although it is in a divorce situation. I will add the links here. I hope they are helpful.

      "Protecting a Child's Emotional Development When Parents Divorce"
      by Peter Haiman
      [This article has a significant bibliography listing research studies and
      other, more technical writings that may be of additional help.]

      "Custody and Attachment: Meeting the Needs of Babies and Children"
      by Susan Markel, M.D.

      "Infants and Joint Custody" (An excerpt from The Unexpected Legacy of
      Divorce: a 25 Year Landmark Study )
      by Judith S. Wallerstein, Julia M. Lewis, and Sandra Blakeslee