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Things with wings

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  • Things with wings

    My DD is now petrified of things that fly..insects that is. I'm pretty sure she has learned this from her father who is deathly afraid of bees and thinks that anything that flies is out to get him. When he comes for his visits he takes her to the Zoo almost every day. Where I live we have lots of things with I'm not positive but pretty certain he has had more experiences than usual and that my DD has witnessed his strange reactions while in his arms. (he screams and runs)
    Since her father was here for over a week and saw her everyday she is now terrified of anything that flies. Even beautiful butterflies. She starts to physically shake and scream. When I connected everything I took her to the natural science museum butterfly exhibit thinking if I showed her other people's and my reaction to these winged beauties she would "reset herself." It took a little bit of time there and she learned again to enjoy them.
    DD and I use to play with June bugs. She would pick them up and put them on her shirt and then watch them crawl up it and fly away. We had lots of giggles and laughs. (those of you from my neck of the woods knows exactly what I'm talking about if you grew up here) But tonight we went to play with the June Bugs and she is hysterical. I brought her back inside. Then she was upset that we weren't playing with the June Bugs and wanted to go back outside but the minute that one flew over she started screaming and for her daddy.
    I sent him an e-mail but trying to get him to understand child development etc is like trying to reason with a cobra. Best just to find another route...

    I'm sure that we are going to be faced with other situations like this as he has many many fears. I might be able to figure this out on my own but I love to hear all of the different creative ways each of us deal with different challenges.
    I'm trying to help her avoid a phobia.

  • #2
    My 3yr old son just went through that again for a month. It seems to be every year at the beginning of the summer! Then I think he just 'let it go' after he realized there is nothing we can do about it but stay inside and even bugs get in there. It might be worth trying a talisman of sorts. A lucky item that will 'protect' her from the bugs. I only suggest this because reasoning doesn't seem to be getting you anywhere! Try not to change your activities too much, but offer adjustments to how she participates. Offer choices like, "Would you feel better in the stroller?" "Would you like to hold this spray bottle of water in case on flies by?"

    When my son did it I was very frustrated too. Why wouldn't he just play? But she will move on at some point with your help.

    I just remembered that my MIL taught my son at 2 how to step on ants to kill them. I was very annoyed when he came home killing everything!
    Last edited by naomifrederickmd; 06-19-2008, 07:12 AM.


    • #3
      My 3yr old son just went through that again for a month

      Well that helps knowing that maybe this is more of a phase than something she learned from her father (weird that she would call for him during that particular time when she has never called for him)

      Try not to change your activities too much, but offer adjustments to how she participates. Offer choices like, "Would you feel better in the stroller?" "Would you like to hold this spray bottle of water in case on flies by?"

      I'm going to try that next time...good suggestions!
      I guess I am not ready for her to loose her innocence yet and I don't want to see her afraid of life. My exH's entire family has really bad OCD with high anxiety. (door locking, hand washing, cleaning, having to constantly check for eveyone's keys and wallets kind of stuff and then freaking out if something in their bubble is off). I'm still hoping nurture is going to win out on this one with my daughter!


      • #4
        has really bad OCD with high anxiety
        I guess you could really start teaching her coping devices other then OCD behavior. Her Father might of reacted to a bug that way and then she thought she was 'supposed' to. So after my MIL taught my son to kill ants, he thought he was supposed to! Find some other kids oblivious to bugs and talk with her how they are just playing and how you are right there if a bug tries to get into her sand castle! I also have tendencies toward anxiety and keeping busy with creative pursuits always helped. Stay calm and available, even if it wasn't bugs, it probably would be something else at this age. One little girl I knew had a fear of Oscar the grouch and my son also didn't like tall thin men at one point!


        • #5
          Thank you for the reassurance. I've employed her nanny in helping her. She taught her today to say "shooshoo bug" or "bye bye bug" instead of crying and screaming. Thank God for this nanny, she has been a God send to me during this time.
          I've been teaching DD deep breathing and when she spills something I act like it's not a big deal (she use to get really upset about this.) I hand her a paper towel and help her clean it up...or sometimes I just say oh well (her Ya Ya has the cleaning disorder OCD) So employing those methods and having her watch others around bugs is a good idea.

          but I've noticed that she is timid more than she use to be which your talking about fears in phases helps me to understand this. Instead of the doom and gloom of OCD.


          • #6
            SOOOOOOOOOOO excited! found a nature discovery place for us to go! Lots and lots of bugs and things with wings where DD can watch other kiddos interact with nature! YIPEE