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Butt Out?

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  • Butt Out?

    My boyfriend has a 13 yr old son and a 11 yr old daughter. They live with their mother and we see them when she lets us. Recently it came out that the son has been (not sure how to phrase it) sexually contacting his cousins. Also, his step sis has said it happened to her with him and her brother. The 11yr old daughter wets the bed frequently which I know can be a sign of abuse but the whole family is opting out on it. They are choosing to ignore it or at best just not let him around his cousins for a bit. My boyfriend is disgusted and sad and scared but not sure what to do. The kid's mom is EXTREMELY manipulative and a frequent liar. She won't return phone calls to discuss it and she has always made us fight tooth and nail for every moment we see the kids so my boyfriend doesn't have a very close relationship with his son at this point. I guess I just want to know, do we just butt out and watch and try to pick up the pieces or throw a fit and try to get custody of 11yr old or at least have it investigated?

  • #2
    Knowing it has happened to other family members, I would throw a complete fit about it until someone got involved and had the girl checked out. If it is happening she needs someone to stand up for her because it sounds pretty obvious to me that her mother is not willing to do it. If that's not what's happening something else is going on that has caused her to start wetting the bed. I know that helpless feeling and you may be her only chance at helping her to reclaim her life. Of course, I hope you are wrong and there is something else going on, but until you know for sure, I would do what you could to get some authorities involved to make sure she is safe.

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    • #3
      It seems to me that this little girl needs someone to be her protector. I would get involved. It might infuriate the mother, but it would be worth it if it saves the girl from abuse. The boy needs help, too. If they just sweep this under the rug, it will only get worse. He needs someone to intervene before his behavior escalates and he winds up in prison (or worse) with a trail of victims. Perhaps take your boyfriend's daughter to a therapist. If she is being abused, the therapist is required by law to report it to the authorities. Same thing if you talk to her doctor. What a rough situation.

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      • #4
        Thank you. That is definitely the direction we were leaning but my boyfriend especially wanted to talk to their mother first to see if she could maybe explain but like I said it's been over a week and she won't return a single call. At least this situation will finally be addressed.

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        • #5
          I agree with taking the child to the doctor. Say she was sniffling and just go. Once you are there, discuss with the doctor away from the child about the allegations and let them talk to her privately.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by WildBlueberry View Post
            It seems to me that this little girl needs someone to be her protector. I would get involved. It might infuriate the mother, but it would be worth it if it saves the girl from abuse. The boy needs help, too. If they just sweep this under the rug, it will only get worse. He needs someone to intervene before his behavior escalates and he winds up in prison (or worse) with a trail of victims. Perhaps take your boyfriend's daughter to a therapist. If she is being abused, the therapist is required by law to report it to the authorities. Same thing if you talk to her doctor. What a rough situation.
            This is exactly what I would suggest. If you take her to see a mandatory reporter about it then the ball can get rolling to help both of the children. Hugs to you momma, what a difficult situation to be faced with.

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