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Can I see his penis? no, ok his belly button then?

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  • Can I see his penis? no, ok his belly button then?

    Hi, everybody this is my first post (of many, many to come) I am having trouble practicing AP because everybody thinks they know better simply because I am 23 and they are 30+. I am also the only Muslim in my family so everything I attempt to do they quickly blame the religion and call me a fanatic (especially on the cloth diapering and co-sleeping). So far a lot of people including the MIL and other female family members from both sides want to see my 4 week old's penis.

    I find this completely inappropriate and disturbing. They tell me I am overreacting since he is only 28 days old and its really no big deal. To me it is a big deal, I feel that my son is an individual who is entitled to his privacy and dignity. I feel that exposing my son at whatever age goes against some of the principles of AP. I feel that only my DH and I see and touch our child in his privates so that if anyone else touches him there he would know its inappropriate and would let us know. Allowing all these strangers to see and touch him there makes me fear that he will become desensitized and not be able to tell good touch from bad touch and become easy prey to a pedophile. Am I nuts to think so?

    How can I let them know that my son and ANY of my (future) children's nether regions are off limits to anyone other than my DH and I?

  • #2
    Why are they so fascinated with it? Is there a chance that they are being more insistent because they know it bothers you?
    Ask them to describe what they think it looks like and inform them the truth and leave it at that. Tell them you find it creepy how overly interested in it they are.
    How often do you have to see these relatives and what amount of energy do you think should go into creating a manageable relationship with them.

    My son's are the first uncirc in 7 grandchildren (6 male) so there has been a little talk about it..... The other mother feeling judged simply because we didn't do the same thing.

    Hang in there!

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    • #3
      well, i've never heard of people asking to see a baby's penis. i agree w/you, that is creepy! is it a circumcision issue? if so, tell them they can google as many penises on line that they want! but you choose to respect your son's privacy and require that they do the same.

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      • #4
        I've never heard of anybody ever asking to see a baby's penis... unless they're a doctor and theres something wrong with it... totally wierrd.

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        • #5
          Ask to see theirs first.

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          • #6
            That is very strange. Can you maybe explain to them why it's important that you keep his privates private and maybe place it in a cultural or religious perspective? My son is uncut too but will have his sunnet - Turkish circumsision ceremony - when he turns 7. My husband is also the only Muslim in my family of Iowa farm people and I am the only Catholic in his family of Muslim Turks so we often have explaining to do. Usually when we explain the reasoning behind things - such as he wasn't circumcised at birth because of the Sunnet-the families accept it and drop the issue.

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            • #7
              Seems very strange, their interest in his penis?

              Just curious - would diaper changes and baths be off limits to them - is that why they are so curious - or is it in regards to circumcision?

              Just wondering why they would have such an obsession.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by imnotyoo View Post
                Ask to see theirs first.
                Haha! I agree with this.

                But yeah, that's pretty disturbing that they're asking to see his penis...

                If it is a circumcision issue, they could just ask if he's circumcised. Otherwise, I'd be very, very wary of these people.

                Originally posted by Umm_Ibraheem View Post
                Allowing all these strangers to see and touch him there makes me fear that he will become desensitized and not be able to tell good touch from bad touch and become easy prey to a pedophile. Am I nuts to think so?
                Not at all. You are right to be concerned. What these people are requesting is completely out of line. I wouldn't let them see it, and I definitely wouldn't let them TOUCH it! Good God. I've never touched my own son's penis since he was born, not even once. Only time I even see it is when I'm changing him or giving him a bath, and I don't focus on it.
                Last edited by itsallthereforyou; 09-05-2009, 06:17 AM.

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                • #9
                  How strange. Did you ever find out why?

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Umm_Ibraheem View Post
                    How can I let them know that my son and ANY of my (future) children's nether regions are off limits to anyone other than my DH and I?
                    I'd say exactly that. Put your foot down. Growl it if you have to. Look at them like they're crazy for asking, because they are. This isn't a religious issue or an age issue. It's his body and not for display. How ridiculous can they be?

                    Nell

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