I'm thinking it comes down to the teacher – this or any other - is not going to be as invested in Bobby as I am.
i sooo understand this feeling! and as a mother and teacher, think it is true to some degree. no one but a parent knows all the fabulous intricacies of their child, and we WANT everyone to know just how amazing OUR kid is! it is also true that it is our job to be our child's advocate.
that being said, you ask lots of questions about what YOU should do, but i think maybe you need to look at it from Bobby's perspective. is HE enjoying it? does HE feel overlooked or slighted? what environment would HE do best in? does this make sense?
Yes, my son also seems to be overlooked a bit, but is that just from my perspective or does he feel that way? Will any other school really make this unlikely? maybe you should send him with a big BOBBY name tag on! Its a really hard transition to having a kid in school (for the parents) My son only goes 2 1/2 hrs two times a week and I am a wreck sometimes too! Have you talked to the other parents?
I have been a teacher of young children so look with sympathy for that teacher...have you expressed your feelings to her in a non-accusatory way?