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3YO suddenly refused preschool...

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  • 3YO suddenly refused preschool...

    We started our son at a preschool two mornings a week in August of 2008. No tears, no separation anxiety, and he always has positive things to say about his experience. He's been under my care since birth, as I'm a SAHM. Today, we had our typical morning routine, and we arrived at school. He gave me a zillion hugs and kisses goodbye, and when i told him to have a good day and turned to head out, he suddenly started crying, sobbing and clinging to my leg. I kneeled down, hugged him, asked what was wrong. Asked if he felt sad about leaving mommy today and he said yes. He asked me to stay. I explained that this was his special time and mommies couldn't stay. i stayed for a few minutes while he played happily with the other kids. when he finished his game he came over and gave me a hug. i asked him if it was okay for me to go and he started crying again and begging to come with me. i knelt down, hugged him and assured him i wouldn't leave him there if he didn't want to be there. he said he wanted to go home with me, so i agreed and said that's fine. you just want to have a mommy day and that's okay. we got his things and went home. I asked him this afternoon if he's looking forward to school on Friday. He got a nervous look on his face and gave a hesitant "uh-huh." I asked if something happened at school last week that upset him. he said, "Yeah," then took off to the other room. He won't expand on the "yeah." I called and chatted with one of his teachers who said she couldn't remember anything out of the ordinary. She was going to chat with the other teacher, think on it, and if they came up with anything call me back.

    Have any of your kids in preschool experienced this sudden separation anxiety?

    Thank you,
    Rebecca

  • #2
    sorry i missed this post! what happened? did you figure it out?

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    • #3
      My younger girl did.
      What I did is keep her home until she was a bit older and ready, but I know that isn't an option for many families.
      I was a single mom so I took a job at night so I could be home during the day. Our situation was a bit difficult. We had just come out of an abusive situation so I wanted to make sure that I was there for her as much as possible.

      I have no regrets for changing my life around. We had a lot of ups and downs with Jackie and each time I had to change my life around, even as a teen she went through a crisis along with other young ladies in our area. I was the only parent who left work, left school which I had just had the opportunity to go back, lost my tuition money... but my daughter and I spent that time in therapy working on her stability, comfort level and issues and the other girls who were coming out and having troubles, several are drug addicts with children, a few are dead and some are missing. I can't think of one other girl out of the dozen that she was associating with that hasn't crashed and burned. I was upset a bit at the time, but I knew and still know that my actions will teach her how to be a compassionate person.

      Also unlike her other friends, she knew she could always come to me and tell me anything or ask me anything from day one. If I could make it happen, I would, if not then we would try to find a compromise.

      There are times in our childrens lives that they really need us to take a step back from our lives and give them a lot of focus. There are times that it is impossible. Figure out for your family what you can do to make things work.

      Is there reason why you can't stay at preschool? If you are working, can you speak to your employer about coming in late for a week so that you can say to your child, of course I can stay with you.

      I know it worked for us when Jackie was older and also have seen that work for other parents. The first few days they stay there for hours and if you look at it as a play date time with your child, it will go fast. Each day the child will ask you to stay less and less, that is if they are really ready for preschool. If even after a week or two you are staying there most of the time, then it may be that your baby isn't ready. Modern society has us separating from our children so much earlier than we ever had before. It is hard for babies at that age to be away from mama.

      I hope that you have gotten it resolved, but I wanted to post some life experience in case anyone else was having trouble, but also so that if another parent decides to keep their child home a bit longer they will see how much it would be worth it and feel a bit less frustrated in the moment.

      Peace & Blessings,

      Jo

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