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  • Separation without Anxiety

    Is there a way to fix your child's separation anxiety? Many mainstream parenting resources suggest leaving your crying child, that eventually he will get over it. But API advocates that parents respond sensitively to their children and their fears of being separated.

    During the week of Feb. 9, AP mom Grace Zell will take readers through her journey of trying to find "me" time despite her daughter's separation anxiety. To check out the article, "Separation without Anxiety," go to TheAttachedFamily.com and log in using the details from the Winter 08-09 Healing Childhood Wounds issue of The Journal of API. Grace's article will be featured all week and then archived in "The Infant" section of the website.

    After reading the article, I'd love to hear your thoughts on resolving separation anxiety, particularly about reading your child's cues. When did you know your child was ready to go to nursery school or to be left with a babysitter while you had some "me" time or a date with your spouse?

  • #2
    thanks

    Hello everyone, i need some good advice and i would really appreciate it. Thanks in advance.
    I've been doing lots of research today about separation anxiety, for i have an 11 months old baby girl and I am having a hard time leaving the room without her crying.

    I will be going back to school this year. So my husband and I asked my mother-in-law to babysit for a year instead of sending our baby to a child care center. We have lots of concerns and worries about sending our baby to a child care center not to mention the abuse and stuff that I wont be aware of on handling my baby. Yes, I am sort of paranoid (as my husband always told me) but I cant help it. I heard lots of news about child care abuse of some babies who sufferred bruises and being sick due to mishandling.
    Anyway,my problem is that she's been with grandma for more than two months now and she still cries everytime I leave the room. I feel so bad everytime she cries but grandma and daddy keep on saying that I spoiled her too much and I need to let her cry for an hour or two and she'll eventually stop crying.Is it right to do that to my baby

    What should I do? Please help!
    Last edited by mumma; 02-19-2009, 05:44 PM.

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    • #3
      Deleted message.
      Last edited by tkfour; 06-16-2010, 03:34 PM.

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      • #4
        Separation without Anxiety

        Understanding the root causes of a childs behavior is critically important. Parents and/or caregivers are usually the first ones to note the changes in a childs behavior, esp. when its manifesting some kind of fear, anxiety, agitation, or changes in mood patterns and responses. In addition, how we respond to the child is worth noting.
        As Goodenoughmother noted above, being extra attentive and asking open-ended questions are ways of responding to the childs needs. Most often, parents know their childs personalities and behavioral traits, and so finding the effective strategies and supportive ways of communicating with their child, e.g. finding what works or may not work with your child are key tools. How do you handle your childs behavioral changes, fears, or separation anxieties? Do you notice it with respect to daily changes in routines, transitions, sleeping or eating patterns? Do share.

        Milflores

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        • #5
          hi, my twin boys ages 10 months old, also cry almost every time i leave the room, and i am so sorry you are going through this!!

          it sounds like your husband and mother-in-law have firm opinions about what is going to work in this situation, so as the mum you are outnumbered but still her mum, so kudos to you for coming to this forum for advice and support.

          a little radical but...

          what about an on-campus daycare where you would only be separated for the length of a class or two, i don't know if your school has one, there was one at the college i went to..

          what about her grandma taking her out of the home, both for distraction and so she doesn't expect her normal routine,

          one more thought, when you are leaving, sit with her and your mother-in-law, for some playtime with all three of you, and maybe she will relax a little.

          good luck!


          Originally posted by mumma View Post
          Hello everyone, i need some good advice and i would really appreciate it. Thanks in advance.
          I've been doing lots of research today about separation anxiety, for i have an 11 months old baby girl and I am having a hard time leaving the room without her crying.

          I will be going back to school this year. So my husband and I asked my mother-in-law to babysit for a year instead of sending our baby to a child care center. We have lots of concerns and worries about sending our baby to a child care center not to mention the abuse and stuff that I wont be aware of on handling my baby. Yes, I am sort of paranoid (as my husband always told me) but I cant help it. I heard lots of news about child care abuse of some babies who sufferred bruises and being sick due to mishandling.
          Anyway,my problem is that she's been with grandma for more than two months now and she still cries everytime I leave the room. I feel so bad everytime she cries but grandma and daddy keep on saying that I spoiled her too much and I need to let her cry for an hour or two and she'll eventually stop crying.Is it right to do that to my baby

          What should I do? Please help!

          Comment

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