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  • Hello

    First off, I would like to say I am new to the forums. I am trying to find a place where I can attempt to figure out how to deal with what is going on. I don't have much time, so I am never good at reading a lot of threads and keeping up with what is going on in forums, but I do try.

    I just feel a bit overwhelmed and alone at the moment. I am a military wife and we are currently stationed overseas. My husband has been deployed since November, and he is not due to return until November. He is coming home in a few weeks for the birth of our second child, but that stresses me out too. I just don't know how I am going to handle being alone with my almost two year old and a new baby. She has started to act out and I feel like our attachment has kind of separated a bit. I don't mean for it too, but I am so tired and I am very alone. I have friends that help me out, but they also have children and husband's that are away. Plus, it is so difficult for me to ask for help. I am not one to take it easily. She has food allergies, so I have to cook every single day. Granted, I want her to eat healthy, but it would be nice to be able to get some prepared food once in a while this late in my pregnancy (38 weeks tomorrow). I am just so tired and worn out. I just got somebody to come clean my house once a week, but I still have so much to do. I am trying to get ready for the new baby and keep my daughter and my relationship ok. I had to quit using clothe diapers a few weeks ago because I just could not keep up. Things were falling out of cabinets and I had so much clutter all the time. Clutter and disorganization really stress me out even more. I have been catching up a bit at least on that.

    First off, she was a very difficult infant to say the least, and she has stayed that way. She is not overly active, bus she requires a lot of attention. She has started to whine and throw tantrums. She did just get out of the hospital about 10 days ago from Kawasaki disease. Her daddy got to come for ten days, but then he had to leave again. I am thinking maybe she is acting out from that...maybe when everything is settled and no more changes occur she will be ok... I just don't know. I think she is going to be very jealous of the new baby. I am so overly worried that I won't have enough time for her. I will have family helping until the middle of August, but then I will be alone from August until the end of November. I don't know how I am going to have to deal with two babies all alone. I am so scared that Emma will suffer because I will have to spend a lot of time with a newborn. I spend so much time worrying about her and trying to make her happy. Plus, when she was hospitalized it was like a nightmare. I did not sleep for three days and the hospital staff were all worried because I was pregnant. She was barely eating, and she had pretty much quit nursing but every few days. I did get her to nurse more on some of the days she really needed it. I ended up with nothing to take care of myself with at the hospital either. I did not have clean clothes, toothbrush, hairbrush, etc. When my husband got here, it was like a breath of fresh air, but then he had to leave again.

    Anyhow, I have rambled and I don't even know if I made a point. I think I am just more scared and don't know how I can AP two babies alone....Thank you anyone for any words of wisdom on how to do this and any support. I live in Wiesbaden Germany if anyone is in the area by the way. I am just so completely lost and scared to death of my upcoming situation. I am just glad I will have help until August 14th....

  • #2
    I can only repy very quickly (baby needs bath NOW)
    I posted on another thead about your area
    http://www.attachmentparenting.org/f...7416#post27416

    Read--- Siblings Without Rivary -----You can order it for pretty cheap from Amazon...do they send to Germany? http://www.amazon.com/Siblings-Witho.../dp/0380799006

    I think you need to ask for help even if it is hard! You can and will repay thease ladies you know when they are pregnant or having a tough time. You deserve support!

    I think 2yrs old can be a hard transition for a kid, Also having a pregnant mama and a daddy away. I think being the mother of a 2yr old, being pregnant and having your husband away is hard! Please lower some of your expectations in areas where it is possible. The towels DO NOT have to be folded, freeze extra food and heat it up.... Now is the time to give yourself a break, you will have the rest of your life to clean and do your hair (or whatever you feel you do out of habit but does not HAVE to be done).

    What food allergies are you dealing with? Would you like some online links to look at or would you perfer books?

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    • #3
      Hi There, I don't really have any advice, but please feel free to send me an email rgriffiths74@hotmail.com

      Your situation does sound very difficult; sometimes life seems so overwhelming when you move, especially in this situation, I can only imagine your feelings of desperation at times when your husband is away. I recently moved to Brazil and feel my life has been turned upside down, with some really, really bad days.....

      I hope you can find some good support - I will try via cyber-space if that helps.

      Love and Prayers, Rebekah

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