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Opinion on Preschool

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  • Opinion on Preschool

    Opinions about preschool.
    Last edited by lllyndaaaa; 03-14-2010, 09:38 PM.

  • #2
    We put ours in a 2 day co-op at 3 turning four. This year (today) was his first day at 5 days a week 2 1/2 hrs a day pre-school. Next year he will be in full day public kindergarten (he turns 5 in a few weeks so is older on the school start spectrum).

    What is your long term intentions for his schooling? Some of our choices have been tailored towards working up to this full day idea. I certainly do not think a child has to do preschool to be ready for school especially if a parent is active in other activities. I also think the socialization thing is over dramaticized (read Hold onto Your kids - )
    The plus of a formal preschool even if it is just 2 days a week is having the same teacher/kids all year. At three it is overkill for a lot of families to force that --at 3 or even 4 depending on the kid! That is why I liked the one I did because I was allowed to stay the whole time with my child so there was no forced separation.

    Are you mostly pressured by family? Do you feel secure in your choice? I think you are doing a service for your child by picking what you feel is best for him. You have time next year if you want it! You might even be able to join a pre-school at the end of the year. There are many options every year for schooling, I like how you are keeping your idea of schooling as flexible!


    • #3
      Hi Lynda, I completely understand your situation, as I've just been through it with our oldest...I've put so much thought into this decision, I could write a huge response! But I'll try to keep it brief.

      When my daughter turned 3, I started feeling pressure to put her into preschool...some of it was "perceived" pressure from friends, since it seemed like everyone was putting their kids into preschool. So I was feeling the pressure of, "well, everyone is doing it, should I?" Plus, I was getting very direct pressure from my mom about getting our daughter into preschool.

      I really didn't feel that preschool was necessary for my daughter, but I wanted to consider all aspects of preschool vs a "homeschool" preschool experience, and be sure I was making an informed decision. So I looked into preschools in my area; just about ALL of them, which ended up being A LOT! All different types, styles, philosophies, frequencies, etc. I did this for 2 years. At none of the schools did I feel a great pull for her to be there. They were all fine schools, one or two actually really good ones, but I still felt that home was the very best place for may daughter to be growing up.

      I based this decision on so many factors; my daughter's temperament, my temperament, my 2 kids' sibling relationship, our daily activities, and so many more that are really more instinctual & hard to describe here. I explained this all to my mom (who was giving me the most pressure), and I felt very confident in my decision. It helped that I had looked into so many schools, so no one could argue that I was making an uneducated decision; on a "whim".

      When I started looking into preschools, my main goal in placing my daughter there was to ease the transition from being at home with mom full-time, to being in school 5 days a week. But I must say that as she grows and develops (thanks to a healthy AP relationship), I worry less and less about how she will handle that transition to full-time school. She is so confident and capable, very social and naturally curious. I'm so happy for our decision to home school for preschool! I actually want to continue our home learning into the school years, but that's another decision to navigate!

      So, I just wanted to share my experience, since ours sounded so similar! I would recommend looking into schools in your area and see where that takes you...your feelings on the topic may change drastically one way or the other!


      • #4
        While three hours might not seem like much to an adult, it's a long time to a kid and spending so much time away from you could be really horrendous for him. For me, that goes against the whole purpose of attachment parenting, which is based on the philosophy that your kids will give you natural cues as to what's the best thing for them at that time. When I was 4 my parents enrolled me in a pre school and it was HELL. I hated every aspect of it. I felt bullied and isolated from the other kids, and I cried every single day the whole time I was there because I wanted my parents so much. I was only there 4 days a week and everyday I cried to please don't make me go, and clung onto my mom or dad's leg (whoever was taking me) and begged him/her not to leave me. It was extremely stressful for me, and while I made no effort to hide this, I imagine there are a lot of kids who put up a "brave front" when really they are experiencing the same things I did. After what I went through, there's no way my son will go through the same thing. I see it as a responsibility to keep him out of school just like I would keep him out of a busy street, no matter how much pressure I was under from friends/family to put him in the middle of the road.

        Just thought I'd share my thoughts. I really think you should seriously consider your own experiences... did you really like being left alone for extended periods of time when you were younger? Was that something you would want to relive? And if not, why put your son through it?

        I say the best time to let go is when your son wants to be let go of. Because if you let go anytime before that, you're just dropping him, and when dropped, he'll fall right to the ground.


        • #5
          help - child started school

          My 5 1/2 year old girl just started primary school. She has never been in childcare or pre school. she was fine the first week. But week 2 started with crying before school. This is the end of week 2 and she was screaming clinging on to me and saying please dont leave me here, i hate school. I know her teacher is lovely, the school is nice, and shes a little bored at home. BUT this does not feel right to me. The advice Ive been given by other mums is, its normal, she'll get over it, they all do it.
          I really dont know what to do - as Id like her to go to school, it is easier, if necessary i would home school - but i would perfer her to go to school. Any advice please....



          • #6
            bmum- that sounds hard...I don't look forward to this next year when my eldest is in full day Kindergarden. I would advise making an appt to talk to the teacher more (not when your picking up or dropping off as she is busy and distracted) but even on the phone at least where she can tell you specifically about your daughters school habits... is she hanging out with a child who is aggressive? Is she getting her basic needs met? (Is she too afraid to ask to go to the bathroom?) etc.
            If your intention is to keep him in this school please do your Mommy investigation. Of course talk to your daughter too, but I know my 5 year old rarely goes into it as much detail as I'd like. I KNOW he is not a fan or the 'directed' painting they are doing in pre-school, but it was like pulling teeth to figure out why he refused to do any painting project!


            • #7
              I think it is a tough decision, and as with most things, it helps to talk to other people, but when it comes down to it, it probably depends on your child and how you and your child feel about it. We just started my 3 1/2 year old dd in 3-day preschool and she, so far, is loving it. She has been asking to go to school all summer and I've seen her behavior slide; in retrospect, I think she is has been a little bored and ready for an opportunity to explore new things. (This despite being active with playgroups, open gym, ballet class, and lots of imaginative play at home.) With a baby, too, I don't feel like I can give her the focused attention that her curious nature needs at this point. She is at a Montessori preschool and her world is just opening up; learning so much about nature and the world around her. I was concerned because she is quite shy, but one friend of hers is attending too, so that helps.

              I think either way you go would be fine as long as you go with your gut. Or, you could always give it a try, and pull him out if you change your mind. Then, put him back in next year if you want. Just try and find a school that you feel really good about and that meshes with your values. Not always easy; we visited many schools to that end.

              Hope you find your answer! It is so hard when you want to do the best thing for your child but don't always know what that thing is!!!

              mom to Sabriel Eden and Kaia Sabine


              • #8
                I'm sorry, but I don't think it's a tough decision at all. To me the choice is obvious.

                Originally posted by bmum View Post
                crying before school...screaming clinging on to me and saying please dont leave me here, i hate school.
                Attachment parenting is based on the idea that kids will communicate to you exactly what they need, all you have to do is be receptive. Your daughter is communicating her needs to you very clearly. Be receptive to them.


                • #9
                  Originally posted by lllyndaaaa View Post
                  Hello. I'm trying to make the decision about sending my 3yo son to preschool three days a week for three hours a day or keeping him home and on a less regimented schedule, but visiting open gyms and mommy and me classes for socialization. My son seems to be secure/attached and he is fine when I leave him with my husband or mom. I don't expect tears or anything, but it just seems so early to put him in school if I have the choice not to do it. I am getting pressure from my family that I am doing my son a disservice because he needs to learn to be away from me. What are your opinions? Do you think easing him into the school environment is a good thing at this age (39 months) or if I have the opportunity, should I keep him with me. I am certainly not in a rush to let go, but I don't want to hold him back either. When is the best time to let go?
                  Please don't be fooled by all of the propaganda about "socialization". The way it's meant by modern parents, it's a myth. Our children get their social skills from us, how we treat them and each other. Have you seen the "social skills" of many of these day care/preschool socialized babies? I'm in a moms' group and I can assure you that the most "socialized" child (the ones left to childcare with many other children) are the most anti-social. My high-needs son, on the other hand, has been left with a baby-sitter all of two times, and is the sweetest most social loving child on the playground. The poor anti-social babies don't know what to do with him. There is NO scientific basis for the claims that your baby has to learn to be away from you at such a young age or he will be crippled somehow. So don't be guilted into something neither of you may be ready for.



                  • #10
                    Originally posted by itsallthereforyou View Post
                    I'm sorry, but I don't think it's a tough decision at all. To me the choice is obvious.

                    Attachment parenting is based on the idea that kids will communicate to you exactly what they need, all you have to do is be receptive. Your daughter is communicating her needs to you very clearly. Be receptive to them.
                    I agree. She's not ready and I would definately home school.