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Does bedsharing get easier?

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  • Does bedsharing get easier?

    We had my DS in an Arm's Reach *********** attached to our bed for the first 4 months. He'd wake, I'd get up, nurse him in the rocking chair and then rock him back to sleep. At 4mo, we moved the cosleeping bassinet to my husbands side of the room about 1 foot from our bed. I continued doing my same routine w/ him.

    His sleeping got much much much worse at 4 mo (he used to sleep from 7:30pm until anywhere from 2 to 5am straight). It got so bad he was waking every hour or half hour sometimes.

    We decided to try bedsharing last week (he's 5.5mo now) and he went from only needing to nurse 2 to 3 times a night and falling asleep on his own, simply next to me w/ his pacifier in his mouth. Now...he has to be on my breast or he won't go to sleep and he's waking anywhere from every hour to every 1/2 hour needing my breast again. I don't think he actually really "nursed" all night. Just suckled to sleep.

    this would be fine if I was able to sleep, but I'm sleeping worse now than when he was 1 foot from our bed and his "needs" to get back to sleep seem to be higher.

    Does bedsharing get any easier w/ time? I'm not willing to give up on it yet (not sure I have an alternative) but I pray that it does get easier and he'll eventually stop waking up so much or need so much from me to sleep when previously he did it on his own....

    -One tired mama
    Last edited by melissa_h; 03-06-2009, 06:41 PM. Reason: Edited to remove trademarked term

  • #2
    May be having a growth spurt. Growing and teething make them sleep less and nurse more.

    I'm sure it will get easier.

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    • #3


      We've been bedsharing the whole time, so our story is a little different. But, I can tell you there have been times when I was his all-night pacifier and there have been times when he has *almost* slept all night.

      When he isn't sleeping well and is nursing all night long, I find that if I wedge a pillow behind my back so I can kindof lean on it and have one in between my knees--I can sleep much better while nursing. (For the most part, though, I really WANT to sleep on my back and can't wait for him to finish nursing so I can!) I've sorta figured out his sucking pattern and when I can probably take him off and roll over (once he's stopped sucking for 6 seconds or so).

      You mentioned that your ds needs to be on the breast to fall asleep. I'm really not sure what a normal progression with co-sleeping looks like (maybe a more experienced mama can help us out), but my 18 month old also has to be on the breast to fall asleep. I'm not really worried about it. He's starting to *occasionally* wake up in the middle of the night and fall back asleep without nursing. I'm assuming this is the first step.

      I hope you get to catch some more soon!

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      • #4
        Brandy, I promise you one day they sleep through! And even sleep through without our help!

        Just can't tell you when, it was after 2 for us.

        We're still co-sleeping, and my DS knows when I'm not there, he usually is OK, cause he knows in his heart we're never far (we're not). I think that is a big lesson co-sleeping has taught us, he is never worried were mummy and daddy are.

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        • #5
          We've co-slept from the beginning so I don't have experience myself but from what I've heard it can take 1-2 weeks for a baby to get used to a new thing. So, if you were doing it one way, even if it wasn't working, you're now doing it a different way and they have to get used to that. It could be that your son is needing to suck a lot now, but it might taper off a bit after he gets used to being in bed with you (hopefully!). It could also be a growth spurt or something like that too. Hopefully it will resolve itself for you soon!

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          • #6
            Hi Melanie,

            It will most likely take a few weeks for him to adjust to this "new" routine.

            In the meantime (you may have/are trying these), before necesarily oddering the breast, try bringing his body into you closer and/or rubbing his back first. He may settle just for that comfort measure. As for sleeping and nursing...it's a learned art. You may be able to master this but it will take some time.

            In the meantime go t o bed earlier to catch up. Lack of sleep will make it that much harder for you to adjust. When Aaron gets home, take a nap. If you can, (I know a huge IF), get Ayla down for her nap, get a blanket for yourself and Colton, lay down on the floor with him and see if you can catch a few winks that way.

            If all that isn't helping and/or you realize this new arrangement isn't going to work, go back to the basics, maybe he'll surprise you and be ready to go back to the old sleep routine. Or mix it up, try something else all together.

            Most of all...hugs!

            PS. Got your message but was out and about most of yesterday!

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            • #7
              my children's sleep only got worse as they got older, so no advice, but i feel your pain! try to get as much sleep as possible, napping during the day, enlisting dh to help out so you can get a nap, etc. i also took Calms Forte, a homeopathic sleep aid. it doesn't knock you out, but it makes the little sleep that you do get more productive. try to be very aware of your physical needs and recruit help from family/friends to ease the load.

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              • #8
                I also can vouch for Calm's, also Valerian on nights I am so stressed that I actually have panic attacks.

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                • #9
                  Our experience...

                  We've been cosleeping since birth and nighttime nursing has felt very normal and appropriate. As a baby he needed it much more, as he gets older, less. When he's sick or was teething, night nursing would ramp up. After 2 years, night waking was certainly less and now at 3 he sometimes doesn't wake at all. (I'm also pregnant, which is most likely contributing to that).

                  I should mention that we did start ECing at 4 weeks or so because he'd stay dry as long as possible before waking at night. After we started offering the potty when he fussed at night he woke less overall.

                  I did go into this with no expectations as far as night waking and nursing were concerned. I have approached this with the belief that what my baby was doing was exactly what my baby needed to be doing and went with it. I have also made sure I could easily be comfortable the entire time, an extra pillow nearby to tuck behind my back for example.

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