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Violent co-sleeping child?

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  • Violent co-sleeping child?

    My son will be 3 in 2 weeks. He's a BIG boy. I have co slept since birth and have always really enjoyed it. He has his own room with a toddler bed. At about 2 yrs old or so we started putting him to bed in there and by about midnight he ends up back in bed with us. I have no problem with this other than the fact that he is a very very restless sleeper and very violent! He hits, pulls hair, punches, slaps, kicks, almost as if on purpose but when I wake up to tell him to stop or whatever, he's snoring! I don't get it. My mother is also a very violent sleeper and has always suffered from terrible nightmares,so, I don't know. All I know is keeping him in bed with us has become a nightmare. I'm not getting ANY sleep. DH finds himself on our little couch most nights. I'm awake a million times a night, like last night for instance and now I'm exhausted and cranky. I can't imagine that Aidan's getting quality sleep either, which may be why hes so cranky during the day as well.

    Any idea's here? I don't want to just kick him out of our bed but he's getting a bit too big at this point. He still isn't sleeping through the night either. He usually wakes up once or twice at least. If we try to bring him back to his room to sleep in his bed he'll just scream for hours.. while we're sitting in there with him. I never let him just cry alone in his room. But we had to give up on that when my neighbors knocked on the door....

    Any help would be greatly appreciated!
    Last edited by melissa_h; 03-06-2009, 07:44 PM. Reason: Edited to remove trademarked term

  • #2
    what about his own bed in your room?


    • #3
      I've tried that too. Usually he'll start off in it but still end up in our bed before the night is over. My husband is pretty anti-co sleeping as it is. He firmly believes the kid should be in his room at this point and doesn't want to make our room any more comfortable for him than it is. This is an ongoing fight. We just have an extra mattress in there for Aidan, but its not leveled with our bed and I'm convinced that's why he doesn't like it. I've discussed getting another toddler bed or twin bed for our room and DH refuses. I just don't know what to do anymore!


      • #4
        Is the mattress big enough for you to sleep there with him sometimes. I did that with my son and he got the idea that if he needed a cuddle he would get it in his own bed. I could then slip back into my bed once he was asleep again or stay the rest of the night.

        I know it doesen`t seem much different than him going into your bed but with us it seemed to make him feel more secure in his own bed and lessen his need for us at night. (It certainly kept him out of our bed because if he came into our bed I wouldn`t be there having quickly jumped into his.) And I think it only worked because his bed was right next to ours and I could jump in really quickly and not have him wake up fully and get worked up. Also, he could still feel and hear us in the room with him even though we were in different beds.

        Wishing you lots of sleep,


        • #5
          Thank you for responding. I'm going to have to find a way to get a bed for him in our room and make life a little easier. I hate when people say things like "he'll never leave our/your room" I doubt he'll be 25 and still wanting to sleep in my bed or room. Seriously. Right now , he needs me. Its just hard to get people to understand that. DH included.