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  • New and need help

    Hi. I have a two year old son that I adopted from Guatemala. He has been home for one year and has always slept in his crib. We have gone through several phases of sleeping on a twin in his room, or lying down while he falls asleep etc. and for the most part he has been a sleep through the night kind of guy.

    Three weeks ago I was out and my husband put him down to bed...same rountine as always .sans mom. Anyway, he screamed bloody murder when my husband left the room. Since that night he refuses to go to sleep in his crib without me sleeping in the room with him. "Mommy lay down too". So, we decided to move him into our room in a pack n play. We have decided that he will just go to bed when we do.

    Now..I know there are a million things I probably just said that go against attachment parenting. I am learning and open to change, so please be gentle with me.

    We have decided we really like having him in our room. So how do you do this? Do you keep him up till you are ready for bed? I am lost. I really like having him actually in the bed with us, but I don't know how to do it. Do I lay there till he falls asleep and then go finish my evening? That doesn't sound safe. Does he just go to bed when we do? Will he get enough sleep.

    School me!
    Thanks

  • #2
    don't be so hard on yourself. we're all learning as we go. there's no "right way" to co-sleep. you have to do what works for your family. the important thing is that you are responsive to your child's nighttime needs. you can read more on API's nighttime parenting principle here.

    i suppose you'll get a dozen different ways that families do it here. in fact, in my own family, we've changed sleeping arrangements about 25 times! currently, the four of us all go to bed together, then, when the kids are asleep, we either get up or keep sleeping. the kids mattresses are on the floor, so no danger. we also keep a monitor on in case someone needs us.

    also, have you visited our adoption forum? you may find more answers there.

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    • #3
      Hello LionBird,
      It is wonderful for your son that you are responding to his cues for more attention during nighttime. Some ideas for making your bed safer for a toddler is --lowering it on the floor, just the mattress or with the box spring or putting up bed rails. This will lesson the "roll off" issue. Two year olds can move all around so adult bedding is less of an issue then for young babies. I put my baby to bed then have the rest of my evening, yet have a very well set up monitor to hear EVERY little sound so I can check on him. You might also want to consider leaving him in the pack and play untill you come to bed then moving him in with you the first time he wakes up.
      Have you read the Nighttime Parenting Principal? You also might be interested in the Mother-Baby sleep study.
      Keep asking questions! I am sure your son enjoys the closeness after a possible detached infancy.

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      • #4
        we sleep with our 2 year old in a pack n play in our room. our 8 yr old liked sleeping our floor til she was five. i feel we get more rest if they just sleep in the room with us. who really likes to sleep alone?

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        • #5
          where do I find the mother baby sleep study? - thanks, Rebekah (Reggie22)

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          • #6
            On my post where I mentioned the Mother-baby sleep study...I made it a link. Put your mouse over it and click

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