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  • Cries in her sleep

    Hello everyone!

    my 9 m.o. DD's biological clock is set and working: she goes to bed at 21.30 following the same routine every night, wakes up at 7-7.30, does 2 naps during the day of approximately 3 hours long, and she is happy and playful the rest of the day.
    But.....(there is always a but), she wakes every night, since she was 4 m.o., crying in her sleep. She doesn't open the eyes, just cries. I pick her up and in 5 min she is back to sleep.
    I have made a lot of effort to make this working, I read a lot of books on the subject. I follow all advice (rocking, rubbing back, sshhing, saying cue words) and I have managed to 'eliminate' nursing to only 2 or 3 of her wakings (when her cries do not stop otherwise).
    We were co-sleeping for 4 months, in a bed arrangement of my own creation, since our bed is not big enough to accomodate all of us. Since she started crawling and standing up, the arrangement presented hazards, so I put back the bars on the crib, and gradually, started to move my couch-bed away.
    If only I knew what makes her cry, that would solve the only problem left. Even her nursing sessions last 5 min, not more. She leaves the breast on her own now (after so many gentle removals ) and I put her immediately back to her crib. She cries again one hour later, and this goes on all night.

    Has anyone else experienced this? Is there information available?
    Could it be that she just wants to sleep close to me?

    I still find it amazing that she doesn't even open her eyes, at least once during the night!!! ( I do, though )

  • #2
    My 10m old whimpers and cries a little bit in his sleep when he is turning or rolling over to get comfortable. Most of the time he falls back into deep sleep on his own.
    When your daughter cries is she really still asleep?
    When you pick her up, does the crying change, does that seem to help? It might be something she just does!
    How intense is the crying, how long does it go on?

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    • #3
      Originally posted by naomifrederickmd View Post
      My 10m old whimpers and cries a little bit in his sleep when he is turning or rolling over to get comfortable. Most of the time he falls back into deep sleep on his own.
      When your daughter cries is she really still asleep?
      yes, I believe she is..usually she starts crying when she rolls over her back, and is too bored to roll back to her tummy to continue sleeping
      but sometimes she just starts to stand on four and cries at the same time..(i expected her to crawl or sit up in her sleep, now that she masters these skills, but not with cries!)
      Originally posted by naomifrederickmd View Post
      When you pick her up, does the crying change, does that seem to help? It might be something she just does!
      when i pick her up, her cry diminishes, she whimpers a little, and then back to sleep..
      Originally posted by naomifrederickmd View Post
      How intense is the crying, how long does it go on?
      I don;t know the scale of crying (), but it sure isn't whimpering. It's like hearing an annoying alarm clock, it makes you go to her immediately, cause something might be wrong. I don't know the duration, I've never let her cry for over 2 secs .. you know, I was just wondering the same thing: how long would it last, if i didn't pick her up, and was just standing on top of her, so that she knows I'm there.
      I think I may try it tonight.

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      • #4
        well, i did try it and....it didn't go well
        Her cry intensified, I picked her up and she kept crying until she settled in my arms. The whole thing lasted 15 min. I think I prefer the 5 min procedure
        The good thing is, that I moved the bed/couch next to her crib, and she only woke 5 times...that's something!!

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        • #5
          I have been thinking about this... maybe she is just calling for you, like a kitten does its mother.
          Maybe if you keep responding right away, she will stop doing it because she KNOWS you will be there.
          Babies sleep stuff changes so rapidly this age too, so next month it may be something different.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by naomifrederickmd View Post
            I have been thinking about this... maybe she is just calling for you, like a kitten does its mother.
            Maybe if you keep responding right away, she will stop doing it because she KNOWS you will be there.
            True, if you consider that I am away from her 7 hours in the morning for work.
            Well, I'm her mommy, I love her, I will be there if she calls me.
            That's attachment right?
            And furthermore, she is not going to do that when she is 15.
            ....or is she?
            Originally posted by naomifrederickmd View Post
            Babies sleep stuff changes so rapidly this age too, so next month it may be something different.
            Maybe next month I get a 5 hour sleep...maybe

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            • #7
              Originally posted by dooo View Post
              And furthermore, she is not going to do that when she is 15.
              ....or is she?
              well, if she does, i'm sure you'll respond to her in exactly the same respectful, attached way that you are demonstrating now!

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              • #8
                Hi. My son used to do this and I mentioned it to our midwife, thinking it might be a nightmare or gas pain. Picking up definitely made it worse...which made me doubt myself. Our midwife said that he may not be fully expressing himself thorough out the day so this was a release. She recommended "the aware baby", more sleep for us both (spend a day in bed with her...harder than you think) and to allow him to cry a bit. Meaning, perhaps not to be so quick with the distraction, or boobie. Be there for him and take a moment to realise that his cry maybe a form of expression and need a moment. Well, doing this worked. It amazed me that allowing him to cry for 10-15 seconds longer before distraction or boobie (and the extra sleep) all stopped this occurrence. Now he might do this (like last night) because the day was unusually active and his sleep and expression was interrupted. (Yesterday, he seem to bump his head on everything and I mean everything!)

                Hope this helps...let us know.

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                • #9
                  Progress, ladies and gentlemen!!
                  She now wakes only 2 times and she makes clear that she wants nursing!!
                  I think she tries to tell me "mom, ok, you've been trying to lessen the number of wakings, but I want to nurse at 3 and 5 a.m. Either you sign this agreement, or I'll scream so loud, the neighbours will wake".

                  I'll sign, it's a fair deal

                  @abundance: I have tried to let her cry in my arms, but as you said, it made it worse. Sometimes there was gas after 2 or 3 min, other times there wasn't. I'm still sleeping next to her which led to the fact that she is aware of me being there, and her cries are not intense.
                  So I guess, she is actually expressing herself in her own baby way.
                  (poor husband, he will be alone in the family bed for long, as it seems)

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                  • #10
                    my ds used to cry in his sleep when he was younger (he's turning 2 tomorrow, yey!). he would whimper and sob until he woke himself up. this didn't happen every single night or all night, just occasionally. i think he just finally outgrew it.

                    yeah maybe your baby just wants to still nurse twice or so at night, and stay close to mommy :-)

                    keep us posted!

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                    • #11
                      Oh its natural to baby to cry at night with some reason...We will have a baby in our family this coming February and I hope we will not suffer that much during night time... We love having our first baby in our family...

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                      • #12
                        My 6 month old cries in sleep also

                        I have been trying to get answers and at last have someone else to talk to about this who is co-sleeping. My baby seems to be asleep ie eyes closed and doesn't open them when I am right next to her. She cries wah wah not wimpers about 90 minutes after being fed to sleep. I know what calms her-boobies-but what causes this and shoudl I let her cry it out to express herself as long as I am next to her. I have never let her cry for more than a few minutes as it sounds to pitiful. But sometimes I wonder whether putting a breat in her mouth is stopping her express fully her emotions ? Any thoughts?

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