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PLEASE help my 13m old sleep

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  • PLEASE help my 13m old sleep

    It's 2:52 right now and I'm about to fall asleep as I write this. DS is 13.5m and is still up at least once per night, usually it's 2 or 3 times per night. I've tried the tips Dr. Sears suggests: tank him during the day, increase daytime touch (we're constantly touching/plyaing/BWing), feed baby before I go to bed, get baby used to other nursings (DH has to work so I let him sleep and he knows he can get the breast from me, even when DH gets up, he's always given DS to me so that's what DS expects, so he knows when dad gets him he's still going to get the breast), make the breast less available, Just say "no", "Nummies go night-night.", offer a sub (he get furious if I try to give him something else and that just wakes him up more), increase the sleeping distance between you (he moved himself into his room at 8m, he wasn't sleeping well in our bed anymore but slept great in his crib all of a sudden), sleep in another room (see previous tip), Let baby be the barometer (he's fine during the day).

    I just need some sleep. I know for a fact he's not hungry, and it's not just teething or hitting milestones b/c this isn't a new thing. He's STTN maybe a total of 15 times ever. I'm about to lose it (heck I think I've already lost it). I'm really super considering just letting him cry it out until this is fixed b/c I don't know what else to do. I HATE parenting between 8:00pm and 7:30am (so almost 1/2 of the time). I've always been an AP mommy and have prided myself that DH and I are doing what we feel is best for DS. My pedi even suggested giving him Benadryl for a few nights to help him sleep better and after a few nights maybe he would be out of the habit, as much as I hated the thought of drugging him, I did it and it didn't make a bit of difference anyway (didn't sleep any better the nights we tried it). I know there's a post similar a few posts down but figured this is different b/c we're not bed-sharing any longer.

    ETA: I've tried feeding him regular solid food in the middle of the night, just holding/rocking him (hoping that if he's not getting BM that he'll decide it's not worth waking up), patting his butt, he will not go to sleep until I BF, I haven't just tried once or twice, I've tried many times.
    Last edited by Mama_Bear; 10-31-2008, 04:11 AM.

  • #2
    Hi, my almost 13m old has periods of that, say maybe a week of that kinda behaviour... I will try to do some trouble shooting with you--
    but first I have to take my 4yr old to preschool. Hang in there!
    Are you napping with him now? You should be!


    • #3
      if it's 3am, you should be in bed!! i totally empathize here. i was dangerously sleep-deprived when my kids were that age. ds2 was up every hour, though. 2-3 times a nite would have been great!

      the thing is, CIO may not solve your problem, but make it worse. i know everyone touts this as the answer, but what they don't tell you is that it doesn't work for every child and that it can, in fact, be dangerous to do.

      nightweaning may not work, either. i nightweaned ds2, and he STILL was up constantly. i recommend you focus on getting as much sleep as possible. if he insists on sleeping separately, have him do it in your room, on a mattress next to your bed, so when he wakes, you don't have to actually get out of bed to tend to him. i also recommend Calms Forte, it's a homeopathic sleep aid w/no side effects. it won't knock you out or make you sleep, but it will make what little sleep you do get, more productive. i took it nightly when ds2 went through this.

      also, call in reinforcements. have a friend come in so that you can take a nap. go to bed when baby does, if he's asleep, you should be, too.

      i know it's difficult, but STTN consistently is not developmentally appropriate until age 3 or later. make sure you're getting good nutrition and time to yourself to help get you through this.


      • #4
        Well said, PaxMamma.

        If he was in your room then your wakefulness periods would be less as hopefully you can catch him BEFORE he gets too upset and then harder to get back down.

        What is your main goal for him? Sleeping more without your assistance so you can get more sleep?
        I know that CIO might sound like it would work in this situation to 'fix' it, but anything that sounds to good to be true, is!

        Maybe you could be on a futon in his room.
        Maybe music or rocking would help.
        Maybe going outside, making the room cooler..or any number of little things might create a more relaxing sleeping environment for the both of you.
        You could take a bath before bed.

        Most importantly don't give up your efforts but listen to his cues too.

        This to will pass.


        • #5
          At that age my DS was getting up every 1.5-2 hrs.....I moved him to his own bed and he was waking up 3X a night stil, making it more difficult for me, beause I had to physically get up andgo down the hall and get him, stay awake to feed him then put him back to bed, only to be awakened 2 hrs later and do the same thing. This went on for a few months,then back to our bed he went, I could nurse him with out either of us really waking.

          I was told by SO many people to let him CIO.....but honestly there have been some studies that scared the heck out of me.....when they get stressed and cry it raises the levels of cortisol in the brain, which can cause brain damage.

          He is 28 months and recently weaned but still gets up every night at least once. He has STTN maybe 2 times.

          If your goal is to get him to STTN, not fall asleep nursing and sleep alone and be able fall asleep might try reading No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. The book highlights how to get the baby to sleep with out sucking on a pacifier or nursing to sleep, to sleep alone but with out crying. I read the infant and toddler versions, though I never followed through on the plan, it sounds like she has had a lot of success helping babies to STTN by her plan and I know AP moms who have used the tactics/plan as they did not want to CIO.

          I do think it is normal, though it doesnt feel like that, for babies to wake up a lot during the night. So there is not something wrong with your baby or anything!! There is also a Calms Forte for Kids that we use sometimes when he is wound up before bed.

          Good luck, I hope you can find something that works!!