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Some Sleepdeprived support please!

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  • Some Sleepdeprived support please!

    Hello, have a beautiful 8 month, high need and high energy daughter (nearly walking already) who struggles to sleep. She wakes every 2 hours at most, usually less. She co sleeps with us, altho have a sidecar mattress that she starts the night off in and ends up in with me during the night.
    Have been trying to de latch her which works when I'm awake enough but by 2 in the morning it falls by the wayside - altho will try to be on that more.
    I think basically I need some reassurance from others who have been there and done that. I really worry about her being sleep deprived as she seems so tired in the daytime.
    I can feel that I am really getting to end of my physical and emotional reserves and altho DH is up for supporting, she is incredibly attached to me (a good thing I know) and struggles to go more than an hour without me, so I get very little break. She is incredibly quick to escalate to extreme upsetness and so trying other ways of calming her is very difficult as it feels she gets so quickly to a point of no return.
    Any advice or support from others with babies like that who have seen the other end of the tunnel really appreciated.
    I feel really strongly that one of my main roles as a parent to her specifically is to teach her how to relax and wind down but feel am failing miserably as the only way at the moment I can calm her is with the breast - which means it's only me that can do it. HAve delayed going back to work as long as I can, but not sure if can manage it much more after she's a year and I worry that she'll still need me so much and the thought of leaving her in day care is heartbreaking
    Ahhh - will stop as feel could go on and on, so please any help!

  • #2
    Hi, SOOOO many of us have been there so please don't feel like you are the only one!
    My second son is much more specific and alarmist when it come to nightime calming, an entirely differnt experince then my first who was an easy nighttime baby.

    I can't really go to much in depth right now (at my SIL's) but please check out the other threads in this area for ideas, MANY that are very similar to yours.

    Happy Thnksgiving (if you are in the USA!)

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    • #3
      oh yes, this seems like a very hot topic right now, lots of similar posts. you may find ideas to help you.

      i can completely empathize w/you being at the end of your rope. i spent the first 5 years of parenting that way. both of mine were horrible sleepers. it's important that you take every opportunity to ease your sleep deprivation. i know from experience, a sleep-deprived mother does no one any good. nap w/your baby, get extra naps when your dh is home, try Calms Forte, make sure you get some time to yourself daily. let the house go, enlist the help of friends, get plenty of nutrition.

      w/both of mine, the only way i could comfor them was the breast, too, but they'd readily take dad and he had his own way of calming them. he was much better at getting them to sleep than i was, too. i think this comes from him being actively involved from the beginning. he carried them just as much as i did, probably changed more dipes than me, etc. if your dh is willing, i'd suggest enlisting his help. if your dd is resistant, start by holding her w/your husband right by you, he can sing to her, read her a book, make lots of eye contact. eventually, they will form their own bond, too and it will probably go a long way to strengthen their relationship and help your dh feel like an empowered father.

      but, yes, it does come to an end. at 5 and 2, mine are both good sleepers most of the time (ds2 still wakes occasionally). it took me a good 3 months to recover, but it has finally happened for me and it will for you, too!

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      • #4
        Originally posted by caketrolley View Post
        I feel really strongly that one of my main roles as a parent to her specifically is to teach her how to relax and wind down
        also wanted to say that, yes, we do teach our children how to calm themselves, but a child is really incapable of self-soothing until much, much older. so you're not failing miserably, this is developmental. in time, she will get better at it. my oldest, at 5, still has a hard time, but my 2 y.o. is pretty easy going and is better at it. one isn't more desirable in my opinion, just different personalities.

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