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HELP - New Sleep Troubles for 20-month-old

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  • HELP - New Sleep Troubles for 20-month-old

    I need help. My husband is a STRONG supporter of AP and I like it in principle, however we disagree with our 20-month-old DD's current sleeping situation. First, some background: we co-slept from birth-14 mos. At 14 months I stopped BF and we moved her into her crib in her room down the hall. She sleeps through the night almost every night and has for quite some time (with occassional waking but she's able to put herself to sleep within 1 minute of waking). Our nighttime routine includes getting dressed for bed, 10 minutes of Baby Einstein videos, saying good-night to our 2 dogs and Mommy and Daddy, then reading 2 bedtime books, rocking and finally singing her to sleep. Once she's asleep we put her in her crib and she sleeps there through the night. DH and I take turns with this process so she isn't reliant on one of us to do any of the above steps. Up until a week ago this has worked out great for everyone involved. However, she's started waking up (and crying) when we put her in her crib and DH says we need to pick her up and hold/rock her until she falls to sleep again. We've alternately been up until 12:30am with the new process - with the end result of her sleeping in bed with us. I see this as back-sliding since she's been in her own bed for 6 months. However, he doesn't believe in letting her CIO. We're both sleep deprived and in disagreement as to how to handle this.
    Let me say that at nap time she goes to her crib just fine and sleeps 2 to 2-1/2 hours. And I know at daycare she goes down for a nap without the reading, rocking, singing attention. Are there AP approved approaches to getting her to sleep in her own bed without being up until 12:30am?? Any advice would be much appreciated.

  • #2
    well, i'm inclined to agree w/your DH. if your DD is expressing that she needs more time w/you, that's not "backsliding", it's developmentally appropriate. esp. if she's spending time in daycare, she may be needing to be closer to you. providing the security that she needs is what AP is. don't worry about her being in bed w/you. i promise, she won't still be there when she's 16! taking the time to meet her needs now will prove worthwhile in the long run.

    to answer your ? about AP approved approaches for sleeping solitarily, the direct answer is "no" b/c the goal of AP is to develop empathetic, nurturing relationships between parent and child. it's not about setting up milestones like sleeping alone, weaning, independent by certain ages, etc. it's about following your child and allowing them to grow and develop at their own unique pace.


    • #3

      Any idea why she might be waking up? Is she going through a needier phase? Has something changed in her life? Is she having dreams/nightmares? I believe that TV before bed can cause sleep disturbances. Could that be contributing?

      Here's some suggestions I thought of. What about a change in the sleep arrangements? Would she like a big girl bed (and ideally a bed big enough for you or your DH to lie down next to her)? Is she feeling a little isolated and powerless in a crib? If you had a regular bed you could lie with her until she fell asleeep and even work towards just being in the room when she goes to sleep. You and your DH could also just fall asleep in her bed some night if you're feeling really tired. Also that way she's sleeping in the same place she fell asleep, no transfering.

      And/or you could put a mattress next to your bed for her to go to when she wakes up in the middle of the night. Sometimes these little guys just want to be in the same room as you and/or need a little pat on the back and go back to sleep quickly.

      I'm kind of in a hurry so not sure if this makes sense...


      • #4
        o man! thats definitely tough to deal with and affecting ur sleeping patterns..i'm sure she'll be sleeping better in no time