My husband works 70+ hours a week, which leaves me being more of a single mom than not... and I've tried absolutely every bit of advice that I've come across, save letting him cry. I don't want to let him cry, but he's tired, cranky and NEEDS sleep-- which for some reason, he's decided that he's too good for.
It's gotten to the point that he won't even let me nurse him down anymore. I've tried rocking him, tried giving him a pacifier, walking/wearing him, cuddling him, laying next to him and nursing him (the few times I've done that, I've ended up asleep only to wake up to him crawling all over me or falling off the bed 20 minutes later). We've tried the family bed, his own crib, the crib attached to our bed, the playyard, different beds but same room -- all with absolutely no success.
He absolutely will not sleep for more than 20 minutes at any given time unless I've taken him for a drive and in his carseat he'll sleep for about 4 hours. But then we're back to square one again and unless I take him for another drive, and another... well, you get the picture.
We've tried a strict bedtime routine, but even after 3 weeks of the same thing in the same order at the same time, I was still having to resort to the car ride 3 - 4 hours after "night night"
Aside from letting him cry, there really isn't anything left for me to do, I don't think. And in all reality, the stupid people who are all like "Oh, my kid cried for 5 minutes and then slept ALL NIGHT" are full of crap too because he ended up crying himself back to sleep the other night while I was in the bathroom with some stomach issues. He was still awake 25 minutes later.
I'm starting to wonder if he's having nightmares or something -- can that be possible with an infant this young? Because he truly seems *afraid* of going to sleep... as soon as he realizes that's what we're trying to do, he freaks... until I either A - succumb to his will and let him play again or B -- take him for a ride.
I've done an elimination diet with no success. I've introduced solids, backed off of solids, tried to get him to nurse a ton during the day... I've gotten off all medications that I have taken in the past (even things like tylenol and such for headaches). I've cut caffiene entirely. I've even tried limiting my intake of sugar (not sure if that would really have anything to do with it, but hey, I've been desperate).
He's had EEGs and Catscans, both came back completely normal... because I was worried that there could have been some kind of neurological issue.
He doesn't appear to be teething, his gums aren't swollen or anything. But he has yet to get his first tooth.
I just really need some advice, some encouragement, something.
It's not that I even want him to be able to just fall asleep on his own or anything -- I just want to be able to soothe him to sleep again. And I haven't been able to do that since he was about 4 months old.
I'm at my wits end here, and all of our extra money is going into my gas tank, which is really starting to make my husband crabby. He's ready to let Ryan CIO, but I am just so torn between what I keep reading to be "right" and what I'm starting to feel like maybe he needs.
But at the same time, if he IS having nightmares or something which is making him afraid to fall asleep, CIO wouldn't be the answer at all, I'm sure letting him cry would only make whatever he's fearing to be even worse.
I'm just at a loss... I have no idea what to do and I don't think I can continue on like this. I'm tired and cranky, he's tired and cranky and it's not only stressing out our Mother/Son relationship, but it's putting tension on our family as a whole. I don't think a day has gone by yet that I haven't gotten in an argument over something stupid with my husband just because of how grouchy I am anymore.