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Need help getting babies to sleep in cribs

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  • Need help getting babies to sleep in cribs

    I have twins that are 14 weeks old (were born at 37 weeks) and when they were about a week old I started a bad habit. I have a huge twin nursing pillow and they happily fall asleep nursing (exclusively breastfeed...usually tandem). Whenever I would try to move them to a PNP or crib they would scream and we would have to nurse again to get them calmed down and back to sleep. Well after a few sleepless nights I caved and went downstairs to the couch where it's easier to tandem nurse. Once they fell asleep I would lean back and I got sleep!! It sucks sleeping sitting up but we all sleep so well. I co-slept with my son and this was pretty similar and we all were much happier the next day. Fast forward 3 months and my back is killing me and these sweet babies can't fall asleep without cuddling up. Usually it takes nursing but just walking and bouncing or the swing works during the day. I NEED to get them in their cribs and I've decided it's going to start this Saturday. I'm having spasms in my back and need to do it. SO many people tell me to let them cry and that is just not me. The more I read the more I relate to Dr. Sears and AP. SO I'm hoping you guys can help me. We're all so used to them falling right to sleep on me we don't know where to start. They scream if we lay them down to try and get them to go to sleep awake but wake up within 30 minutes (we got 45 min one time!!) if we put them down asleep. Any help is greatly appreciated!!!! Sorry for the book

  • #2
    Hello! In your bog you mention trying to use a certain book for help in getting them used to the crib.
    Dr. Weissbluth's book offers a myriad of "no cry," "maybe cry" and "let cry" solutions, depending on your circumstances
    I am curious about those divisions. Could you elaborate?

    I do understand your need to get them in a more agreeable sleeping situation as your couch arrangement is not working. Have you tried the sleep and roll away technique on a mattress on a floor? One person in our local group who has twins does that.
    It sounds like you are committed to AP concepts but having twins is throwing your personal balance off.

    Try to be gradual, flexible and remain sensitive to their needs even if they are at nighttime!

    Are the cribs in your room, next to your bed? Does your husband do any nighttime parenting? Great job nursing them! I am happy you are getting such good sleep now!
    I hope this transition works well for you all.

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    • #3
      Thanks for replying. I think I've researching like crazy for an answer that I can agree with. A lot of the twin moms on another forum swear by HSHHC so I figured I could try it. In the book he says:

      Let Cry - Ignoring, extinction "The idea is to respond if you think your child is hungry but not at other times"

      Maybe Cry - Controlled crying, Partial Ignoring, Graduated Extinction - "leave your baby for about 5 minutes, then return and soothe him back to the sleepy state or put him down after soothing. If loud crying recurs, leave your baby for 10 minutes and then repeat the soothing progress. This sequence repeats with an additional 5 minutes of ignoring his crying until he falls asleep during one of the crying spells or does not cry after your soothing effort. Another method is to also increase the time of ignoring before checking on your baby, but increase the time by about 5 minutes every 2 days."

      No Cry - Check and Console - "quietly enter whenever your baby cries to see that she is all right and gently soothe her in darkness but you try to not pick her up. Instead, you rub her tummy, stroke her hair, or gently rock the crib. You do the least amount of rocking, singing, and if necessary, nursing to soothe her back to a calm, sleepy state." He goes on to say "this method could teach some babies to cry more frequently and longer in order to receive more soothing"

      I don't know what is best to do which is why I came here looking for other ideas. I have tried sleeping with them on our guest bed (DH is scared he will roll on them) but they just wake up. I can't figure out how to sleep with one on each side because they roll into me when I roll the other direction and wake up. I'd keep trying that method BUT I really want to go back to sleeping with DH. It's looking like he's going into the military and will be gone for several months for training so I really want to spend more time with him. I'd also like the babies in their cribs so they sleep better during the day and also they are ready for bed by 8pm at the latest and I'd love some evening time to relax with hubby, run errands, clean, etc...

      The cribs are in their room. They have never slept well in the PNP for long. We figured we'd just get them in their cribs in their room and get it over with rather than doing it in two steps but maybe it is worth it to put one in and let them sleep together and do it slower?? It's just a pain because the cribs don't fit through the doorway. DH is bad at nighttime parenting. He had good intentions before they were born but after...he had a hard time waking up when I needed him and he would be so crabby that I ended up getting mad and frustrated. It was easier doing it on my own on the couch. Now he's going to have to suck it up and help soothe so maybe 1 crib in our room isn't a bad idea

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      • #4
        none of weisbluth's definitions are compatible w/API's approach to Nighttime Parenting. the point of nighttime parenting is to establish trust w/the child, so that they know they can trust you both during the day and at night. being responsive to a child's needs, regardless of the hour is what produces healthy, long-term relationship benefits. in addition, research has proven that extended crying can cause emotional and brain damage. a "time of ignoring" is simply antithetical to what AP is. i think to myself "what if my partner treated me in this way? what if he used 'times of ignoring' with me when i was upset?" it just sends the wrong message to these little ones who are turning to us for support.

        your situation is very difficult. i can't imagine trying to negotiate the difficulties of having twins, both during the day and at night. i commend you for being committed to bfing and nighttime parenting.

        what about putting them on a mattress on the floor next to your mattress on the floor? they'd have their own sleep surface, but you'd be able to attend to them at night, w/out getting them out of bed.

        We figured we'd just get them in their cribs in their room and get it over with rather than doing it in two steps but maybe it is worth it to put one in and let them sleep together and do it slower??
        i'm not sure i understand this. why do they need to transfer to their cribs at all, either in one part or two part phases? i'd encourage you to look into the benefits of extended bedsharing and see if that wouldn't be a better fit for your family, esp. w/the added dimension that your dh will be leaving, you will be on your own, and your children will be missing their dad.

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        • #5
          We still co-sleep with our soon-to-be 6 yo. twins. We love it. We also have our soon-to-be 4 yo. and the baby in bed.
          If one twin wasn't severe SN and had to be with us I'm thinking they would enjoy sharing a bed in their own room now.
          But, look into co-sleeping, then you can still all get a good nights sleep. Like a PP mentioned, a matress on the floor right next to yours would probably work great. We have 300 cm. of bed.

          The stuff you described over here is like Ferber, like crying it out. You never, ever ignore a babys cry day or night in the AP spirit. It can be very damaging, like the PP said, emotional and brain damage. They are still very little, they need you. It's just natural. You need to make them safe and secure, by building a bond and responding to them also at night. They will trust you to be there in time and things will be easier.
          Good luck.

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