I've got a 26 month old who will not , can not ,go to sleep independantly.For awhile there bedtime went like this : we'd do bed-snack , brush teeth ,goodnights to sister, lay in bed read a story and he would drift off while I was reading to him - most nights it would only take maybe two childrens books. That was working nicely - DH and I could and did both do bedtime with him comfortably and happily. Somewhere along the way it became three books , four books , five books plus a lay there and wait for him to fall asleep period of 10 , 15 , 20 . . sometimes more minutes , for a bedtime totalling sometimes more then an hour. This recent resistance to falling asleep has basically gobbled up all of our evening as my husband works VERY early so goes to bed very early. So by the time the little guy has finally fallen asleep and I come out of his room ( if im doing his bedtime) DH has maybe 30 or 45 minutes untill weboth need to prepare for the next day , clean / showe and then get to bed.ror if DH is doing his bedtime then he generally falls asleep while he's laying there with him.
So a few months ago we tried getting him tosleep on his own , we laid down with him , read him a couple of stories , hugs, kisses , reassurances of checking back on him then left. he just came running back out , we picked him up put him back in with an i love you time for sleeping , repeat . .repeat . .repeat . . .add in crying . . yelling , crying , exclamations of 'SCARED' my broken heart and a failed attempt at getting him to go to bed more independantly. My dh got ' strict' and did stuff like stood at his doorway and told him to stay in bed. Which in some ways i felt better about because at least DS could see that dad was there, but it also frustrated him because DH was right there saying "STAYIN BED' everytime he tried to move.
Anyway . . DH feels very strongly that the LO neds to start doing bedtime more independantly . .I say he's still just a baby . .but on the other hand . . .i would like my evenings back . . ? If LO wakes up through the night he's always welcome into our bed , by both DH and I - infact DH quite likes when he joins us(which he does 99%of nights) and requests having him next to him. But bedtime DH feels needs to change.
So - how can we at least move in that direction , GENTLY!? If i lay with LO and do stories and then say im just stepping out and will be back he gets upset and cries and gets up and comes after me . . . ?
Any other methods?
I read Pantley's no crysleep solution over a year ago when he was under one yrs old and found it interesting but didn't really find a 'formula' that worked for us....
anybody have any ideas or reccomendations of how i can move towards what we want to see without scaring or hurting my baby boy? gentle and eventual is what I'm looking for...?