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Needing some reassurance

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  • Needing some reassurance

    Hello everyone

    I'm Leanne, who posted about 'being literally attached during sleep' with our five month old. (typed during a sleepy state!) I have not posted before that one a few days ago, but find reading through past threads very helpful.

    I'm wondering if anyone can offer me some reassurance, please?

    SIMPLY PUT, if I am able to willingly, lovingly without resentment or fatigue (as is happily the case now) sleep aside my little girl for all naps and overnights (and offer her the nipple during all wakeups, which she seems to require now) into her second year if need be, am I doing her a disservice in any way? I feel this attachment can only be beneficial, to have her see/feel me near her every moment she wakes.

    Look so forward to your feelings on this...
    Leanne

  • #2
    I think you are making your LO very secure and I would think you are keeping her from developing any fears related to sleep because she must feel so safe and secure with you there all the time. She won't always need you there to sleep because she won't have insecurities that interfere with sleeping. That's good that you can be there for her so much and do it happily and without resentment. So I say keep up the good work mama!

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    • #3
      Check out thease links
      http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/advantages.html
      http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/longterm.html
      "amongst the children who "never" slept in their parents bed there was a trend to be harder to control, less happy, exhibit a greater number of tantrums. Moreover, he found that those children who never were permitted to bed-share were actually more fearful than children who always slept in their parents bed, for all of the night"

      http://www.attachmentparenting.org/f...nightfaq.php#1
      "We live in a society that puts a lot of value on independence. This may be fine for adults but is not as fine for babies. It often leads us to expect babies and small children to be more independent than they are biologically ready to be. It also puts a lot of pressure on parents to push their children toward independence even when they are small babies and toddlers. It may be that you are feeling some of that pressure right now with your own family."

      http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/...eeping-survey/

      Is this for you or to reassure people in your family?

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      • #4
        Thank you

        Thank you to both moms for your replies...although this entire site is helpful, your direct words are very helpful indeed, and just knowing other mamas care and are on board is reassuring for me. My partner and I did not have very good models as children ourselves, and are not surrounded by other AP minded parents. So, although we follow our personal convictions, I need to check in once in a while for some support. I have also picked up Pantley's no cry sleep solution. my intention isnt to get her to sleep through the night, as that is not a concern for me at all, only for her to be able to help herself fall asleep once in a while without waking fully. Thanks again, we'll be posting our successes in future! Leanne

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        • #5
          Hey Leanne, you sound like a sweet mama- follow your instincts and look for those local AP folks too.

          Where are you located? Let me look around for you.

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          • #6
            thank you

            Thank you, I appreciate your sweet comments. We are located in Oakville, Ontario, Canada. How on earth do you all find the time to be so helpful to others!!!? I hope to 'pay it forward' one day for other new moms, like so many have for me.
            Leanne

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