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Night waking unbearable!

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  • Night waking unbearable!

    Hi There. Up until now I have been following attachment parenting techniques.
    My girl is 6mo, her routine is up 6am, sleep in pushchair or hammock about 8 or 9am for 1-2hr, about and play, sleep again in H or PC for another 1-2hr, bath, massage and bed with story at 6-7pm.
    If I'm out and about I wear her, but she likes to be mobile during her wake time.
    I Breast feed her till she's dropping off, give her a cuddle then put her down. She generally settles well.
    I feed on cue which is about every 3 hrs during the day, one side.
    It all turns downhill at night.
    We were co-sleeping but I was disrupting her by moving and vice versa so she is now in a cot in her own room. Guilt ridden, but she does sleep better...Made no difference to NW.
    She will wake on avg every 2 hrs, but 2/7 nights will be every 30min to 1hr.
    She wakes crying her "angry cry" the one that means come back, or I want to be awake and social.
    If I respond straight away by holding her elbows in tight against her sides she will settle again, but often only for 5-10min. I will have to hold her like this sometimes a few seconds, often for 5-15min on and off. This can go on for anywhere up to 4hrs at which point I cave, put her in bed with me or feed her to sleep.... At which point it gets worse, she wakes every 20-40min to latch on and needs constant suckling to sleep with me. It's a very unsettled sleep for both of us, and we're both tired and grumpy the next day.
    I saw the value in co-sleep and AP patterns but I think I have gone wrong somewhere, instead of happy attached baby I have tired grumpy baby! She pushes me away in bed if I cuddle her
    I thought initially teeth however nothing to show and this has been a familiar pattern for 1.5months now.
    No signs of pain or reflux that I am aware of.
    I have started giving her solids (rice, millet, pumpkin, silverbeet etc)which she enjoys around 5pm and will have fruit throughout the day.
    I put her in a sleeping bag at bedtime and she has a few toys in her cot, one of which she likes to chew on.
    There is so much conflicting information, cry 10min, no cry, feed to sleep, don't etc etc....
    Gut feel says that I need a program to follow for these night wakings. I have had 2 professionals say "there's nothing to worry about" well sleep deprivation is a concern, for her and me!
    I want to be the ideal AP, but I think i need a balance, how can I get some good sleep without losing her trust etc?
    Help hugely appreciated!

  • #2
    Could she sleep in her own space in your room? I know a lot of babies (both mine at 6M) who don't enjoy sleep cuddling, please don't beconcerned that you did any thing wrong.
    If she was in your room (but not in your bed, maybe next to it) you could still give her the "I'm right near you go back to sleep" cues and catch her way before she even fusses.
    That might be helpful for her. By the time you get to her room she may have gotten to a more wakeful point (and you too!).
    Possibly make it so attending to your needs (staying in bed longer, not fully waking up) and hers (needing own space, but needing you near) could both be helped.

    When you go to her room, is she in a crib? Do you sit in a chair to nurse her? Have you tried laying and nursing?


    • #3
      Thank you,
      She was in our room in a side car crib for a time, but we still had the disruption of noise and movement. I found that when I put her to bed on her own at the beginning of the night that's when she had her best sleep... So i figured DH and I were disturbing her too much?
      She is in a crib and i have a chair next to her. I have in the past laid down to nurse, while we were cosleeping, that's when we had the needing to latch on all night, which I know some Mum's can do in their sleep, I wish I could!!!!
      I'm not being the best Mum I can as I'm so tired, she's miserable and overtired during the day. so my gut feel is that we both need to find a solution to have quality sleep.
      Any books or DVD's you would recommend?
      Have just read nighttime parenting -Dr Sears


      • #4
        Have you tried putting a single bed on the floor in her room so that when you go into lay with her you might fall asleep too? Then she would not get all your bed room noise but if she needed you more you could catch some sleep. You can always go back to hubby when you wake up again (or not if you just want some more sleep)

        Check out Baby Sleep API link-

        Other links
        "7mo rejecting co-sleeping, but still waking continuously"

        Keep trying stuff, you'll get it!


        • #5
          I love the 'part time co-sleep'. That's been working for us over the last 2 nights and we have had a much better time!