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I want to co-sleep but my baby doesnt sleep when I am there

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  • I want to co-sleep but my baby doesnt sleep when I am there

    Hi! Please I need some advice. I am an advocate of attachment parenting and I love my baby to bits and want to be with him all the time but I discovered that he sleeps much better without me. He was a colic baby, very fussy, never sleeping more than 2 hours at night and 20 minutes during the day. I carried him on me for 5 1/2 months all day long and breastfed him almost every hour at night and co-slept. Then I had a nervous breakdown from exhaustion and did CIO with him. I am not proud of it but I really couldnt do it any longer, I got really depressed and anxious from sleep depriviation. Surprisingly, he hardly cried and from then slept through the night for 12 hours and his daytime fussiness was much better after that. It seemed that the only thing that kept him awake was ME. Well that lasted for one month, then we had guests and he gradually went back to waking all night long. I went back to breastfeeding him and when I couldn’t take the nightly walking through the house anymore co-slept with him again. It worked initially, and I sleep so much better close to him and we both felt much more bonded straight away. He is almost 9 months old now. He started waking 30 minutes after going to bed for a breastfeed, and I breastfed him but now he rolls over when he is done eating and wants to play with me, in the middle of the night!!! I see no other way than putting him back into his cot and leave the room but it is against my reasoning and my instinct and I miss him like crazy at night. What shall I do? He seems to be sleeping better without me!

  • #2
    i'm not sure exactly what the issue is, but would it work to put him in a crib or mattress next to your bed? that way, he has his own space, but you are right there if he needs you.


    • #3
      My second daughter loved to cuddle so I was shocked when our third daughter arrived and seemed to want her own space. There are several differernt types of sleeping arrangements and, even within one family, there may not be one that works for all. I agree with PaxMamma's suggestion of giving him his own space near you. Placing his cot up against your bed (using it as a sidecar) would give him his own space, but also the reassurance that you are nearby. Does anyone in the room snore or toss and turn? There might be something that is waking him up or keeping him from falling back asleep after he nurses.


      • #4
        The issue is that he will sleep with me in bed, but he wakes up too much (every 30 minutes) for a feed and then he wants to play. He doestn really understand that its time to sleep when I am there. He deosnt mind me in bed with him, when I lie on the mattress next to his cot he jsut stands there and calls for me, he doestn understand why I am next to him and dont pick him up. My husband snores and that DID keep him from sleeping at night, so now I moved into babys room and sleep on a matress on the floor there and he sleeps with me there.