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  • Need a little advice and help...

    I am having trouble getting our 9 week old daughter to sleep with me in bed. We rock her to sleep and she currently sleeps while my husband holds her in the rocker from 8pm unitl 12. He sometimes can sit her in a reclining chair for about an hour while she sleeps but he mostly holds her.

    He brings her to me around midnight and I try to keep her with me in bed to sleep. She squirms most of the time rubbing her face and rolling onto her side. I know she is tired, she has her eyes closed she just squirms a lot and rolls onto her side rubbing her face onto the sheet and I am afraid she is going to get into a position where she can not breath. She will not say on her back. She also sounds like she is congested at night and can not breath very well when she is in the bed, when I pick her up and sit in the rocker it seems like she can breath better. We have a humidifier that we just put in the room a couple of night ago.

    I try nursing her in bed but this does not work very well, maybe we just need more practice? She also has to be burped or she will spit up, so I have to pick her up after she has fallen back to sleep. It's like she is in between sleep and awake and she will settle for a second and I think she is going to fall asleep but then the squirming starts all over again. I get up and sit in the rocker and she falls right to asleep. (Note: I wrote this yesterday and last night we actually had some success with her sleeping in the bed, but she did spit up after I nursed her to sleep when she woke up, I knew this was going to happen because I did not pick her up and burp her. She slept on her side most of the time which made me feel a little uneasy)

    Have we created a problem with the rocker? I rocked my oldest daughter to sleep and she still slept in bed with me until she was 5 years old with no problems.

    I have my daughter in a sling and hold her most of the day. Our goal is to have her sleep with us in our bed and to be able to go to bed together every night, instead of my husband holding her in the rocker.

    Thank you in advance for any advice/suggestions.
    hsmith

  • #2
    if you feel like she's not able to breathe laying down, consult your pediatrician. he should check to make sure everything's okay. it could also be acid reflux, she may be uncomfortable sleeping horizontally and that's why she sleeps better upright. the spitting up could be another indicator of reflux. if you and your pediatrician determine that could be the case, you could have her sleep on an incline and see if that helps. monitoring your diet for offensive foods would be a good idea, too. if she's able to roll onto her side, there's no way you can keep her on her back at night anyway. let her do what she can to get comfortable.

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    • #3
      thank you for the advice. we did speak to our pediatrician about this and he suggested a reflux medication but i wanted to make sure that this was something she really needed before i put her on any unnecessary medication. i may call and talk to him about it again.

      she did sleep last night for a short period of time in our bed on her side, but if she needs to nurse i have to sit up with her. i have tried putting her on a wedge she does not like it. she really just wants to be next to or on us when she sleeps.

      thanks again!

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      • #4
        i understand about medication. i don't like using it either. there are many other things you could try for reflux before going the med route, if that is what you ultimately decide. like i said, sleeping on an incline and looking at an Elimination Diet may be a solution for you. google it and you will probably find many other thing sto try, too. let us know how it goes!

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        • #5
          Our second son had reflux like symptoms that were better after we cut out dairy. That is simply our experience but it might be something to try before medication.

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          • #6
            I was going to also suggest acid reflux but have been beaten to it! We could not share a bed with my son. It just didn't work. Like your situation, he also would roll on his side in bed which was scary for us. He did not sleep in bed with us very well, therefore we didn't sleep. We too, for many MANY months did shifts...my husband would sleep for 7pm-1am, me 1am-7am minus getting up to nurse. Most of the time, my son slept in our arms, with us awake. Eventually, we figured out he had reflux, and had to do the medication because he was actually holding his breath to protect his airways, and then gasping for breath. This would happen a few times an hour. Putting him in his crib (we slept in the same room with our bed touching his), with the crib elevated on a stack of books, did help the situation. Co-sleeping and sharing a bed with your child is wonderful, but if it doesn't work for your family in this particular situation, you don't have to feel bad about it or beat yourself up. Attachment parenting is about much more than just sharing the same bed.

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            • #7
              Just re-read this and wanted to say that the congested sound is definitely a big sign of reflux. My son always had this. Even with the medication, we had to keep him upright after he ate for 20 full minutes...pretty much burping him the whole time. Nursing in bed doesn't work with reflux, because the babies really do need to be as upright as possible. At 16 months, my son can nurse laying down, but this really didn't work reflux wise until he was 11ish months, if I remember right.

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              • #8
                Have you thought about getting an Amby baby? I had one, to see if it would help my wee restless one - she really liked it. I have heard many testimonals from parents who said it helped with reflux. You can have her next to ghe bed, still be very close and touch her etcI see you are breast feeding; have you thought about eating DGL, get it from Wholefoods, Sprouts etc... passes through to breast milk. I was recommended this from my midwives when my wee one had colic for a few weeks. Good Luck! and hang in there. Helps to know, you are not alone with the struggles...

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                • #9
                  I agree with previous posters. First, she just may not be a child who is able to cosleep. It's okay if she's not - everyone should sleep where they sleep the best. Second, I would definitely give the acid reflux meds a trial. A short time won't hurt and you'll know if that is the prob or not. And third, maybe a different sleep position is key. Our daughter could not sleep flat as an infant, but she did not have acid reflux. We actually let her sleep in her carseat in her bassinet next to our bed for a few months. This is controversial, but was actually our doctor's recommendation. It worked great until she got too big for that. (we strapped her in, of course). The prev poster suggested an amby sleeper or something that I think would have the same effect.

                  Good luck to you!!!

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                  • #10
                    daughter doing better...

                    thanks for all the post. we put her on meds a little over a week ago for reflux and it has helped a lot! she now sleeps in the **********, and wakes about every 2 hours to nurse.

                    she still will not lay down and sleep during the day but i do not think that has anything to do with the reflux. she only takes naps during the day if we are holding her or she is in the sling. i have tried to put her down in her bed once she is asleep but she wakes up a few minutes after i lay her down.

                    but, the nights are getting better!

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                    • #11
                      glad to hear!

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                      • #12
                        great news, my kids have that inbuilt motion sensor too. I had a friend once who slept in a recliner with her baby in a baby carrier, the baby just couldn't sleep laying down, she was sure happy when the baby grew out of it!

                        How great though you followed your child's needs even when it wasn't easy. Here is hoping your sleep problems are over!

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