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Nighttime frustration

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  • Nighttime frustration

    I'm having a terrible time trying to get my 17 month old dd to sleep. I've set up a routine that we follow everynight to let her know what is expected of her. (bath, brush teeth, say night night to family, and nurse to sleep) however we from the time we start nursing it can take up to an hr to get her off to sleep.
    She has no trouble with nap time. she's generally out in 15 min. I take her on lots of walks, take her to the park to play, and ensure that she is really sleepy before i start our night time routine. SHe's generally laying her head down on the floor, rubbing her eyes and just recently saying bed. So i know she's tired. but she figits the entire time i'm trying to nurse her. FOr example, kicking her legs, trying to twiddle the other nipple rolling/crawling around in the family bed. i try to rock her to sleep, or wear her in a wrap and she screams her head off. I'm at my wits end and would love any suggestions!

  • #2
    could you be waiting too late for the routine to start? can you try getting ready for bed before she is on the floor saying 'bed'?


    • #3
      I have tried doing it earlier but the battle stays the same It's why I started trying to "tire" her out even more. I had posted on here earlier in the year and the majority of responses i got was perhaps i wasn't tiring her out enough. So i've switched gears and tried to keep her awake instead. Unfortunatly, neither seems to be working for us.

      It makes me feel like such a failure to not know how to help my dd go to sleep. I tried many techniques from the "no cry sleep solution" and unfortunatly none of them seem to be helping. Even worse is as poorly as i am at getting her to sleep i'm the only one who can get her to sleep. She won't even go to sleep in the car, even when she's tired! I would love any literature anyone has on helping a lo get to sleep without using the CIO.


      • #4
        Both my kids have had periods of this and it did seems to 'work itself out' after a week or two. I would blame it on the legs growing or some sort of developmental place but I never really KNEW what it was. Sometimes I felt the more desperate I acted to get him to sleep, the more he would get agiatated at my behavior. After trying a lot we had a night of just being low key and not intentionaly doing any 'putting to bed' stuff at all. We did pajamas but nothing else bedtimey. He fell asleep eventually, and we had a less stressed few nights as we 'reset' the bedtime routine buy not having one. That is just an idea...
        I don't think you are doing anything is your child's state intersecting with your needs as parents where the conflict is!
        This is a new challenge, don't compare it to the last one too much!

        Thinking of you!


        • #5
          We had a similar problem with DD at that age. She would always go to sleep so quickly for naptime but it was a very different story at night

          She would nurse and nurse and get very tired. If I stopped nursing her she would play in the bedroom and occasionaly lie down on the floor to rest. But would never fall asleep. I read "Sleepless in America" which says that going to sleep involves two parts. One, getting tired/sleepy and two, "switching off" and actually passing from sleepy to asleep. I figured we were doing the first part but not the second. (And I didn't find the book particularily helpful in figuring out how to do the second part.)

          I got REALLY frustrated several nights in a row after not being able to get her to sleep and left the house. After I'd leave she'd have a good scream for a few minutes and then quickly pass out in my husband's arms. So, we started to put her to bed this way and she really got the hang of it, she would cry sometimes but more of a "I'm tired and mad scream" than "I really miss mommy scream". After awhile she began to go to sleep with my husband while I was still in the house but out of the room and now my husband can sometimes transfer her to me while she is still awake and I can put her to sleep. If I try to nurse her to sleep is doesn't work so that's been completly eliminated from our nighttime routine. (Not nursing, just nursing to sleep.) Though, I still nurse her to sleep for her nap.

          I think some days she needs to have a scream in order to get to sleep. Sort of an unwinding, stress release thing. I'm not exactly sure what AP says about that but I'm comfortable with it as she is never alone and it doesn't usually last too long.



          • #6
            It comes to mind that maybe she is getting too old to nurse to sleep? Maybe try to nurse a little earlier then start the bedtime routine after?

            Other than that, you might try moving the bedtime up half an hour and sticking to it for a week or two, give it a chance to get established.

            Those are the only ideas I have. I know how frustrating this can be, we've been there! Really, and hour isn't that bad in my experience, lol.



            • #7
              Switching off is exactly what i think her problems is. We'll be laying in bed, she'll be nursing to sleep, her little eyes start to droop, and then out of no where i hear: "eyes, nose, car beep beep" and returns back to nursing. Then all of a sudden i hear: thump, thump, thump, as she wacks her leg on the matress. I open my eyes and look at her "eyes, mouth, meow". I take her out of the bed and trying walking or rocking her to sleep. She immediatly starts to cry and yell "night night, bed, num num". I put her back into bed and the whole thing starts all over again. lol. I've tried reading, singing, talking in a monotone voice about absolutly nothing. However one thing that i've noticed that works but have been unsure of is this.

              I guess i just have to decide to snuggle up and enjoy the toddler sleep pattern the best i can
              Last edited by smurfsammy; 09-20-2009, 09:18 PM.