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Severe sleep deprivation with 18 month

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  • Severe sleep deprivation with 18 month

    Hello out there, looking for some advice/support about nightwakings. Have a beautiful, high need daughter who is 18 months and rarely sleeps more than3 hours in a row, usually 1-2 and will only return to sleep by breast feeding. Obviously all really exhausted. HAve been trying gentle sleep methods for past 4 months (no cry sleep solution stuff) and to very little effect. As she gets bigger she is more and more aggressive and angry about not getting breast immediately if I try and rock her. Husband going thru very busy work period and really can't give night support for next 2 months. Am getting to my wits end and resenting the feeding like crazy. Feeling very "controlled" and angry, which in turn feeds guilt and anxiety!
    Am thinking that I will just try and hold her as she crys and hope that at some point she will "give in" and sleep without me feeding her and thenwe will both sleep. Has anyone got experience of this? Also want to start thinking about having another child and know that body not up to conceiving as things are (am 39 and took 5 years to conceive DD)
    My main concern (aside from sleep exhaustion) is that by allowing her to cry lengthily I will cause long term damage and anxiety.
    Any words welcome x

  • #2
    You need some back-up!
    Any family that can come stay with you, money to pay a sitter etc?
    If you could get some rest time a few days I think that would help everyone.

    If you can't do that try to be creative with short term alternatives to night nursings. Even if you would NEVER use things like TV or a drive maybe in the short term that might help you gain some balance.....of course then you have to wean from that!
    I like this Kellymom page- Gentle methods for encouraging less night nursing
    API blog of a woman who didn't have luck with that book either-
    Also, some children have food or chemical sensitivities that might interupt with sleep. Is there any in your family or do you notice or suspect anything?

    This is a nice little Doc Sears tid bit
    Let us know what you try and what works. Most of us have been there too!


    • #3
      This article may help you:
      Dr. Jay Gordon's "Changing The Sleep Pattern in the Family Bed". Read carefully w/API's Ensure Safe Sleep Principle in mind.


      • #4
        I can understand your exhastion. I have a high needs 18 month old too. If she sleeps between me and my dh she may sleep for a 2-3 hr streatch, however if i place her in her crib (which is attached to the side of our bed) she will often sleep only for 40 min-1 hr intervals. I'm not sure if your situation will allow this but often what i do to catch up on a little bit of lost sleep is, nap when she naps. or sometimes i'll have my mom or dh help me get the work i want to get done finished so i can go to bed early with her. or have family come in and watch her while i crash upstairs for a cat nap. I've tried all of the gental sleep solutions with no help. she wants to nurse to/back to sleep and nothing else will do. As she gets older i'm finding the same problem, she stronger and will dig and pull at my clothes to get at the breast while screaming what she wants. I wish i had some advice for you. i just wanted to let you know your not alone out their and i hope things work out for you