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Help, not sure how to improve sleep 'issues' and husband who is at his wit's end

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  • Help, not sure how to improve sleep 'issues' and husband who is at his wit's end

    At 14 months, my son has gone from falling asleep within an hour after we start his bedtime routine (bath, light play, song, nursing/walking to sleep) to taking up to 4 hours to go to sleep from the start of our routine! I'm sure this is in part due to his development stage but am not sure of what I might be doing or not doing that is contributing to his extreme change in behavior/dislike of bedtime. Where before bedtime was relatively peaceful with mild resistance on some nights, he is now crying and kicking in my husbands arms as my husband tries to walk him to sleep, not the situation I want us to end up every night! I've added longer playtime outdoors and moved his bedtime up an hour later. We cosleep and this is where some of my confusion as to how to handle this starts. How does one keep a toddler in the bed if he doesn't want to sleep? I'll nurse him to sleep and I'll think he's on the edge of sleep when suddenly he'll unlatch and move off the bed and head for the bedroom door to go out and play. I am the more AP-minded parent and I stay at home so if my son needs some extra time to work out his energy at night, I'm willing to stay up but my husband works a stressful job and is starting to push me to try some of the CIO methods he has read about online (i.e., Baby Whisperer, various incremental crying techniques) so that he can have his evenings to himself again. We have a crib that we don't use and my husband wants to use it now which seems like a giant step backwards to me. Last night, after an hour of walking my son to sleep, my husband declared that he was going to let our son cry it out tonight. I wouldn't even know how this would work if my son isn't using a crib and can crawl out of our bed. How do people even try any of the sleep methods if the child can get out of the bed?? My husband doesn't say it aloud but I sense that he wishes we used a CIO method on our son months ago. I am committed to AP principles and have worked to bring my husband on board with me but this sleep issue is testing my husband's patience and my ability to know what to do other than use more patience! I don't want to see him leave my son to cry alone to sleep. Help! Sorry for the long post.

  • #2
    Hi!
    I do feel for you. I may not have an answer for your, but I'll give you a suggestion. My 20 month old went through a phase of not wanting to go to bed (actually he still isn't always keen because he has two older brothers who sleep later!). Right now it's more the naps that he has a hard time settling down to, so I put him in the stroller and walk him around if he won't nurse to sleep. That way I get some much needed exercise and de-stressing at the very least! I do walk him in the stroller at night, too, if he won't go to sleep. With my second son I sometimes drove him around--not environmentally responsible, but sanity-saving!!!
    Anyway, hang in there. And this, too, shall pass ;-)

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