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taking steps backward in sleeping

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  • taking steps backward in sleeping

    My girl is 10 months old & has slept in her crib since 3 months. She was sleeping great but over the last few months it had gotten more erratic. She is teething right now & is either fighting going to sleep for at least an hour & a half or is waking in the night for upwards of 1 1/2 to the longest, 3 hours last night. I am still breast feeding, feeding her to sleep. We were @ the place where if she woke up before 5, my husband could rock her back to sleep pretty easily. Now, I am feeding her in the middle of the night for at least an hour. She is eating plenty of solids. I don't want to let her cry herself to sleep, but I either hurt my back stooping over her crib to rub her back or, if I pick her up, as soon as put her down, she starts to cry again (asleep or not). During her nap during the day, she really only sleeps very long if she sleeps on one of us. We don't want to co sleep and I am frazzled. Any suggestions?

  • #2
    Food allergies, cold or ear infection, other discomfort......
    It does sound like a drastic change. Developmentally a lot happens at 10m. Is she eating new foods? Is there any other new thing happening in her life?

    Try not to think of it backwards...thing of it as a change and maybe the catalyst for a new better stage of sleeping after she works past whatever this is. It may be her only way to 'tell' you what is going on with her.


    • #3
      Naomi has some very good points and that is usually the case. I want to add a different perspective to think about maybe the child is taking a step back.

      With all of my children, biological or not, I have noticed with all aspects of their lives they move forwards, then backwards, then make these great bounds. I even notice that of myself when I think about it.

      Sometimes when you are about to do something that is change... going backwards is comforting and soothing, almost like a last look at what was so you can get ready for what will be.

      With children sometimes that backwards can take a bit longer. I notice it with Ronnie the most because I am no longer rushed by life like I was the girls and the other children that lived with me.

      He was a terrible napper during the day without me and it was because he really wanted to be with me. With my older girls similar happened but again, I was in a rush, so much to do, so little time and with him there are times I feel that way and then I realized if we all napped together, then I actually was getting more done because I had more energy. I wasn't feeling drained emotionally or physically from trying to get my child settled and because his needs were being met, after a couple of months he was fine again to nap. A short time span considering I know mothers that struggled for years because the child never felt his needs were met and it became an endless loop. (I was one of those mothers years ago)

      My guy also nursed in the middle of the night at least one time until he was three. It was his cycle and the way that he metabolized his food & drink. Even now he wakes up for a sip of water. I know many people can't bear the thought of having to be woken and I was fortunate to have my grandmother remind me her youngest child nursed through the night until he was four and that was all night nursing. Her sisters all had 16, 17 & 19 children, all breastfed, each child different in the nursing patterns and sleeping patterns, but they also had small homes and everyone slept together so it made it a lot easier.

      I understand that you don't want to co sleep. Is her crib in your room? Can you bring the crib to the side of your bed and put the side down so you can put your hand in to soothe her? Is there any alternative you can find along those lines so that she knows that you are there for her?

      Peace & Blessings,



      • #4
        Thank you so much for your kind responses. It isn't that I am opposed to co-sleep, I wouldn't be a member if I was . When she was younger she slept in a bassinet right next to us & it was very simple to reach over & sooth her if she wasn't settling. We would frequently have her sleep with us for a few hours, early morning, until we all got up. The transition to her own room/ crib was seamless. I am sure you are right that she is working through a new phase, every night is different. As for food allergies, she is eating a lot of new food but as soon as she gets picked up she stops fussing so I can't imagine that allergies would be the cause. I really appreciate the perspective & just need to refocus on comforting her when necessary. Maybe through this stage I can go ahead & bring her back in to bed with us. Since it was such a smooth transition before & she seemed ready, maybe you are right that when she is through this she will resume sleeping on her own with no problems. Thank you!


        • #5
          There is a lot of 'dance' forward and backwards. Sometimes it is hard and it seems like two steps backwards happens before two steps forwards!