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night-nursing but still crying and waking

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  • night-nursing but still crying and waking

    I've scoured the forums as much as my little one will allow me time to do.

    My 9m old who has bed shared practically her entire life used to sleep so well in the bed with us. When I felt free and supported to pull her into bed from the bassinet, we all slept better. That was up until she hit 9 months. I know there's a part of a 8-10 month sleep regression that is going on, but I'm not understanding the other part of the problem:

    At night, after we are all asleep, she awakes and roots for the breast. I give it to her, as usual. But the problem starts when she sucks for a few minutes, maybe 10, I don't know, it's night. But then she pops off the breast and rolls the other direction or tries to crawl, and is crying immediately. I have to physically get up off the pillow, pull her back over, and try to get her to attach again or the crying escalates to loud and non-sleeping for anyone proportions. Sometimes she will reattach to that boob, sometimes I can shift her to the other side and she will fall asleep, but more lately, nothing works unless physically sit up in bed cross-legged with her on my lap nursing her again, like we do at the start of the night. And then trying to put her down in the bed again, sometimes is successful, after about 30 minutes of nursing, but most of the time isn't, and we do this dance for literally 3-4 hours in the middle of the night. This is also after she has nursed 3 times since her 7pm bedtime, and she will most likely wake after I finally get her back to good sleep within another hour and a half. I'm not sleeping, she's not sleeping WELL, and it shows in her daytime demeanor, and to my disappointment, mine also.

    I don't think I've slept more than an hour at a time for the last month, and maybe I'll get 4 of those at night. That's 4 hours total, and none of those are deep sleep, I'm sure. I kicked the snoring and moving husband out of the family bed for the meantime to see if his noises and movement were causing it, but it didn't make a difference. At least I get better sleep when I actually dose off, and he gets better sleep for his job that he spends 12 hours+ a day working. He wants back in the family bed, as I want him back too, but until we fix what is going on with her sleep, I just can't manage it.

    Naptime is also a problem. 45 minutes at the most, even if I'm sleeping right beside her. I used to be able to slip away at naps some to get some chores done, but now she's guaranteed to wake within 5-10 minutes of me slipping away. At naps I can almost NEVER get her back asleep. I've devoured 4 books on sleep solutions, to include some sleep training books, which I glean what I can from their suggestions. We have started a night time routine of dinner at 5-5:30, bath at 6-ish, and book then bed by 7, sometimes around 7:30. (She's not all that into books right now except for chewing purposes.) She takes two naps when I can get her to sleep at least an hour, if they are only 45 minutes we take another later afternoon nap. Because of my husband's schedule I have no help at the house to get dinner on the table, or even to get some time to do chores really. I'm not asking for much, I can do a lot of chores in about 45 minutes!

    We are doing baby led weaning, so I offer her nursings throughout the day and food at every meal, not really caring how much food she actually gets inside her. I let her eat until she starts pulling up the bowl (a sign that eating is done for her).

    When it's time to actually wake up I get right out of bed, happy and singing and energetic, lights on and music playing, as one of the suggestions in a sleep book said that she might need to know the difference between night and day, and that days are for playing and nights are for sleeping. I've done this for 2 weeks.

    She spends her entire day, of her own will, on the ground exploring. So I think she's fairly tired at bedtime? I have even made my own camomile tincture that we have tried for 2 weeks, and finally, even though she's not actively pushing teeth through gums at the moment (she has 8) I tried tylenol just in case she was just in a lot of pain at night for some reason. It didn't seem to help.

    I'm at my wits-end, and in my head I feel like, if she's not going to nurse at night back to sleep and is crying about something anyway, it might be time to move her out of the bed and into a crib in the bedroom. This is more sleep deprivation than I had when she was a tiny infant.

    I'm so sad because all the AP suggestions are "bring the baby in bed and you will all sleep better" and I feel that just isn't happening.

    Please help.

  • #2
    It doesn't look like anyone replied to you. Are you still having issues? I hope that it passed. If not, I could share more of my experiences.

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