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No naps//cosleeping//working//help!!

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  • No naps//cosleeping//working//help!!

    Hi all!
    My name is Missy and I am Mom to Cate. She will turn 1 on Sunday! Let me tell you a little backstory and then I'll address what I need help with. I went back to work full time when she was 13 weeks old. That was just way too hard on both of us, so after about 6 weeks, I dropped to 4 days a week. It has helped, although I wish I was able to stay home full time, unfortunately financially that is not possible right now. We do have a plan in action that would allow me to only work 2 days a week. We have our house on the market and hope to sell it and downsize to a smaller home so we can afford for me to stay home more.

    In the mean time, I work 6:45-3:30 on M, T, Th, Fr. On Mondays, Cate stays with my mom. On Fridays, she's with my sister, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays, she is in a Mother's Day Out at a church. My husband works 9:30-6:15. Our schedule is that Josh (DH) drops Cate off at 9, and then I pick her up at 3:45, so she isn't in someone else's care ALL day. On Mondays and Fridays, I am able to go see her on my lunch hour and nurse her.

    My problem is her nap schedule. We have shared a family bed since she was about 4.5 months old. I love sleeping next to her, especially since I don't get to spend all day with her. I do NOT want to stop co-sleeping and get teary eyed even thinking about that. My husband loves it too, and is very supportive. But, her naps. Oh, her naps! Currently, she gets about 20-30 minutes in the morning on the drive to wherever she is staying for the day, and then about 30 minutes to 45 minutes after lunch, and then another 15-30 minutes in the car ride home. Some days, though, she doesn't sleep in the car at all and so will only get about 30-45 minutes of daytime sleep.

    We put her down at about 7:45 PM and she usually sleeps until 7:30ish in the morning. She nurses frequently at night, but again, I'm okay with this and enjoy it. At bedtime and naptime (when she's at home) we bounce her to sleep on an exercise ball. I'd love to see the end of that ball, but that's a whole other issue.

    I just don't think she's getting enough daytime sleep. She often seems tired. She is mostly happy though and does not have nighttime meltdowns. On weekends and Wednesdays, she naps with me or my husband. With me, she won't sleep longer than 30-45 minutes, but for some reason, she'll sleep an hour or sometimes even longer with my husband.

    Any thoughts or suggestions for getting her to nap longer during the day? My sister has occasionally let her cry a little and she has about half of those times gone back to sleep for a little longer. I don't really want to go that route. I know a big part of the problem is that her daytime routines are so different every day, but for right now, there's no changing that.

    Sorry this is so long, but I just discovered these forums. I've been feeling pretty lonely in my parenting style (not knowing it had a name, organization, etc). Thanks for any support or suggestions you might have!


  • #2
    Hi Missy!
    Where are you located?

    I think you are right that she is not getting enough sleep during the day (in a chunk). Because of how your life is she falls asleep in the car (VERY common!) and those other two times. I guess a solution would be for you to make sure she does not fall asleep in the AM to hopefully give her a longer chunk after lunch to nap. I think you have a very usual issue so relax, sometimes they work out them selves!

    Maybe you could keep her up a little later in the evening, so she sleeps in a little more so may not fall asleep on that first car ride?

    Just ideas!

    Thread on transitioning from bouncing to sleep-


    • #3
      I'm just wondering if she does need more daytime sleep. I read that older babies/toddlers need 10-12 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. Your LO is getting that at night, so maybe that along with the naps she does get is enough. My son (20 months) sleeps 9 hours at night and takes a first nap that is usually 1 1/2-2 hours though once in a while 3 hours, and then sometimes he'll take a second nap for 30-60 minutes. So my son usually sleeps 11-12 hours a day.


      • #4
        Thanks gals! We have been trying to keep her awake in the car in the AM in order to prolong her afternoon nap. I think it's working! I'm in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

        It's funny--I didn't know what AP was until I read about it in "The Baby Book". But, it mostly seems to line right up with my husband's and my instinctive parenting style.

        Thanks for the support and ideas.


        • #5
          That is good news!
          I really think about this nap stuff too. My 2 year old denied a nap untill 4:30 this afternoon (he usually naps 12:30/1 ish- 2:30ish) and my husband is trying to lull him to sleep now. He may lay in there a while! I hope it works but when he naps that late he usually goes to bed at least an hour later then normal (9ish as opposed to the usual 8ish)

          Have you posted in so others in your area might know you are looking?

          There is a resource leader in Tulsa that might be able to direct you to a local AP group of parents (she may be too busy to have meetings but I bet she knows some people!)

          I hope you find some kindred spirits and of course we will be here for you at the forum


          • #6
            Well I can't offer much advice but I think that this is just how some babies are. I have talked with other moms that also have trouble getting their little ones to nap. My DD is 8 months old and has a lot of the same sleeping patterns and I'm a stay at home mom! I wouldn't worry too much because that usually seems to escalate problems! The one thing I do with my DD is if she wont take a nap I at least try to take her to a quiet place so she has the opportunity to sleep if she needs it. Most of the time she falls asleep but other times she sits in my lap in a rocking chair and plays with a little toy, so I think if given the opportunity to sleep they will if they need it. Check out Dr. Sears website about sleeping patterns, it's very informative. GoodLuck!