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My DH is ready for our baby to be out of our bed, but I'm not :(

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  • My DH is ready for our baby to be out of our bed, but I'm not :(

    My Dh thinks it's time for our 9 month old DD to sleep in her own bed in her own room. She still nurses twice a night and I try to explain to him that I get no sleep when I have tried this. She wakes up even more when she is alone, and he is to the point that he says we should let her CIO. I absolutely REFUSE to let that happen. I don't know what to do. I think he feels I don't have much of an argument because I don't work, so I think he seems to think I can just sleep during the day. What he doesn't seem to get is that when she sleeps that's when I can actually get stuff done! I will probably loose this battle but I want to make the transition as easy as possible, any suggestions?

  • #2
    I feel for you; I had the same issue with my husband just a few months ago. Although we did try a version of sleep training (at my husband's insistence and against mine), it did not work and actually made things worse, as my DS now absolutely refuses to go into his crib for any length of time. We ended up compromising by putting a double mattress on the floor in our spare room. This way, DS has his own bed and spends the first part of the night there alone, and if he wakes up later in the night (which he always does!), I go in there and spend the rest of the night sleeping with him. This has worked great for us, as now my husband is able to sleep without being woken up by the baby, I get sleep because I'm in bed with the baby, and the baby is happy because I'm there with him if he needs me. I know that my husband would prefer that DS sleeps alone, but I know he'll do this in his own time, and in the meantime, this situation is a good compromise. Good luck!


    • #3
      I took your advice and discussed it with my husband. It seemed reasonable enough and I didn't mind the compromise at all. When I discussed it with my husband he confessed that he actually did like having DD in our bed. Our friends and family have been giving us a hard time about and I think he was giving into the pressure even though he didn't want too. I'm glad I stuck with it even though people told me not to because now the 3 of us are happy!!


      • #4
        My husband does the same thing every once in a while, you just hear so much of societies pressures, telling you what you should do. Our daughter is 14 mo. and still in our bed, Granted now we need to add another mattress because she is taking up the whole bed, but my husband admits that he is really happy she is still in our bed and wouldn't want it any other way. I think sometimes the Dad's need more support for AP then we do, they get bombarded with societies expectations all day long, and they don't always have the same info at their fingertips that we do.


        • #5
          Thank you so much for this conversation ladies. My DD is only 3 months and DH is already feeling the pressure to move her to her crib and own room. I'm NOT ready in the least to have her leave our room (she has bad reflux and spends most of the night in a specialty bed next to me) but DH has been pushing to move her over the past couple weeks. DD doesn't take up any room in our bed but I think DH just feels like our sleeping arrangement is "unusual" because all DD's baby friends are sleeping in cribs in their own rooms already... Think I will sit down and talk with DH and see what he's feeling. Thanks again ladies!


          • #6
            I hope things have worked out for you by now, but if not you could mention the fact that babies are at most risk for SIDS in the first 6 months and that is greatly reduced just by having the baby sleep in the same room. I hope it works out, it's so hard when there's a disagreement like that!