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Bone of Contention

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  • Bone of Contention

    After reading the Continuum Concept we decided to bring baby number 3 up completely differently from our twins. We use a sling a lot, co-sleep and at the age of nearly one I am still breastfeeding him frequently. Our little boy is so content he is a joy to be with, especially in the day.

    At night though, the reliance on boobs is starting to cause a problem on the sleep front as every time he wakes he needs me if he is to settle for any length of time (by that I mean more than 15 mins before he stirs and cries again). My partner is getting fed up bedsharing as our bed is just a regular double and there is not that much room for all three of us and now he's more active, dad gets kicked a lot in the night! We don't have enough space to put a cot up against our bed, so on a few nights dad has moved out. This is not proving popular.

    After 15 years together we need some us time, especially as we are getting married this year. Our evenings are constantly interupted by his waking until we all go to bed and then we have baby in the middle as our bed can't be pushed against a wall.

    I don't want to leave him crying, but I am sure he doesn't need the milk from a food point of view anymore, he's just enjoying the comfort, but some nights I wish he'd take a dummy so I could sleep in a different position. One book said I should go and sleep in another room and leave it for him and dad to work out. Has anyone tried this or got any better tips?

  • #2
    same boat

    Hi there, I don't have any advice that has worked for me but I can say, I am in the same boat- it sometimes helps to know you are not alone in this journey... and I have just come off what seemed like a looooong night shift, that was utterly exhausting and frustrating. I feel so bad for my little one... but more about that later. I read the "NO Cry Solution" and as many have said it helped and I believe it improved her naps, that weren't a major problem at all, but it made them better, longer and deeper.. she settles herself one I pull out my nipple during naps and most nights as she drifts off, with my lingering by stroking her etc... maybe some tips in this book could help you. The nights are really quite restless, to say the least... multiple wakings, which seem to take longer for her to settle.. she might sleep 3 hrs at the beginning and that feels like a luxury. When she tries to turn, she wakes herself up and can only get back to sleep with my nipple... she is 18 mnths old pretty much and sleep deprivation is really hard. Plus, I am saddened that she is not more peaceful at night.
    I have to try the Daddy thing more.. but give it a try; does she have a good rship with her father? how do you feel about it? we tried one or two nights when she was 9 months old, but I found it waaaau too difficult to hear her crying and never really tried it again. Naomi Adorlt says you have to be very peaceful about night weaning so the child will feel it.... so lots to think about.

    Keep getting support and visiting us here and getting sleep while you can, on any naps or going to bed earlier maybe. Wish I could help more, but please know, I understand and your are not on your own!

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    • #3
      Hello. I'm new to this forum, and am looking for shared information and experience around the topic of night-nursing on this thread. My little one is eleven months, and an absolute joy. She is so amazing, happy, and loving. And very communicative. We saw our naturopath today for a check-up and she asked how my daughter's sleep is. I told her that she co-sleeps with me and wakes maybe four or so times a night to nurse (and to pee). Our naturopath suggested I stop night-nursing her, and continue nursing her during the day. She suggested offering her water to drink when she wakes as an alternative to nursing. Here's the thing: I was actually surprised to hear we should stop night-nursing so young, because I had imagined we would continue night nursing for at least another number of months. My naturopath thinks it would be better for both of us to sleep through the night. I also have a habit of waking to drink water and pee during the night. (I guess it helps me remember my super-amazing dreams.) Anyhoo, I'm just wondering what other folks think about night-nursing, and how long they night-nursed for. I was imagining that my daughter would night-nurse for as long as she needed to, but I do recall reading about methods of soothing the little one when it became to draining for the mamas. As for me, I am quite tired during the day, and still crave our naps together, but I feel quite sweet about being able to comfort her during the night with warm leche. The other thing is that we are doing some travelling, and I'm not sure I want to stop night nursing when we are moving around in our journies. Also, there is no papa to comfort as an alternative, so its just the two of us, cuddling down for the night. Any similiar experiences or ideas?
      blessings, mamamaria

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