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Frustrated mom of 15mo hating crib! Sad parents miss their evenings and their bed

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  • Frustrated mom of 15mo hating crib! Sad parents miss their evenings and their bed

    Just wanted to say thank you to everyone here. I am new to the forum, and have been reading several posts about nighttime parenting. It is all very comforting and encouraging.

    We are struggling getting our 15mo daughter to sleep in her crib, and stay in her crib for the better part of the night. She has slept in her crib since she was 3 months old for varying numbers of hours at night. We have always made exceptions for illness and teething and bedshared when necessary, as we believe in being sensitive to her needs. And we are fine if she wants to come to bed with us at, say, 3:00am, but lately, IF we even manage to get her to sleep in her crib at the start, she's been waking up one or two hours later REFUSING to go back to sleep in her crib. The only thing that works is lying with her in our bed. Bedsharing for part of the night is okay, but bedsharing all night is not okay with us. As I write this, my husband and I have both tried for two hours to get her to sleep in her crib tonight and failed. My husband has given up his evening to go to bed early with her. This is unsustainable.

    It's really hard to tell what's happening.
    -Is it STILL teething? Four molars did recently pop through all at once, but she doesn't show any signs of discomfort during the day or while napping.
    -At daycare (a center) they transitioned her naps from the crib to a cot. She took to the cot right away and really seems to like it. Maybe a mattress on the floor is what she wants?
    -We are preparing to move to a bigger house. This means she is in daycare full time (we both work full time), and every weekend she spends with the grandparents while we do errands and pack and put stuff in storage. Is she missing us, like we miss her?
    -This week my husband was away on a business trip for a couple of days, so our routine was upset a bit, but she seemed to take it in stride.
    -Is she simply expressing a toddler preference to be with us all night every night? I fear this pattern.

    And the kicker is, at her fifteen-month appointment, her pediatrician gave us the spiel about needing to put her to bed while she's awake but drowsy. This kind of pressure is driving me NUTS. Especially when it does not come with any practical, helpful advice.

    Anyway, I think we will try putting her crib mattress on the floor in her room. God, I don't know what I will do if that doesn't work. Any other insights/advice would be appreciated.

  • #2
    My DS refused to sleep in his crib EVER! We only had success getting him to sleep when we put a mattress on the floor. This option allows everyone to have their own space, but still allows for co-sleeping when needed, or wanted. It did take a week or so to see a real improvement, but it did happen. I hope it works as well for you as it did for us, good luck!

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    • #3
      Thank you. Curiously, the two nights after my post she did go to sleep in her crib so I am mystified. (Of course, she woke up at 11pm and at that point there is nothing for us to do but bring her to bed with us. But at least we had our evening to get something done.) Now tonight, she will not go in her crib again. Logistically, putting her mattress on the floor is not an ideal solution for our house/space, though we are willing to make it work if this goes on too long. Are there any other things we could try first?

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      • #4
        When our DS was a newborn, we took one side of the crib off and put it right next to the bed - like an Arm's Reach **********. I think it may be time for us to put it back that way because he doesn't sleep in there at night any more and I really wish he would. Would this approach be an option for you?

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        • #5
          Thanks, jrflutist. That's a good idea, unfortunately there is not enough room in our bedroom to make that happen. We are having success getting her to sleep in her crib now, so who knows what happened before. It fixed itself--go figure!

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