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Need LONG: Seeking support & advice for night-time parenting for 8 month old

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  • Need LONG: Seeking support & advice for night-time parenting for 8 month old

    i am blessed w a beautifully friendly sweet baby girl. she had awful colic --reflux and gas for the 1st 5 months of her life. She rarely slept for more than 1 hr-2 hrs at a time. She is FF, I cannot BF. My husband and I had to share nite-time duty because of the constant waking and fussing so we both did a combo of bassinet/crib and co-sleeping. This was a great way to make sure baby got night-time care and then the person on duty the next day would be rested (cause she didnt nap well either, poor sweetie). When she was 5 months, we tried to have her sleep in the crib on her own. We used a monitor. I think those were the worst nites ever. Every sound of my little one broadcast and she was so far away and so restless. We gave up on that and I took her into the single bed with me near her room. Baby slept for 6 hrs without waking. First time ever. She fussed about for her bottle, but never woke. I fed her ASLEEP. This has been going on for 3 months. I change her diaper and feed her in bed. I am well rested and so is she. But, she is getting really mobile and I am getting worried about this arrangement. Also, I need some balance in my life, and am of two minds about this. First I work FT & the nighttime co-sleeping is good for us, baby has time with mama and I have time to show her my love. However, my husband & I sleep seperately (note: the baby & hubby do not sleep well together, they bother eachother!!! ha ha) As I meet the challenges and joys of being a mama, including many 30 hr stints alone (my hubby works 30 hr shifts) I feel I need some intimacy w my partner, and not really of a sexual nature, but just closeness. I know my baby's needs are paramount but this is where I am now. I am thinking why rock the boat when we are sleeping well? Am I buying into sleep training and silly ideas of infant independence as well in some way? Any feedback wld be appreciated. Our routine is below:

    7 pmbath and story
    7.30 pm bottle /bed -baby falls asleep in our bed
    move baby to crib if asleep, she will either wake up in 1 hr or rarely in 3 hrs
    12.30 am 8 oz bottle
    5.30 4 oz bottle
    7.-7.30 am wakes happy

    *note: if i am on my own, i sleep w baby in our bed. i had been working on naps in the crib but two teeth and new babysitter has shot this to the heavens!!! so much work to make her feel like it was a nice little nest and now she just wont sleep there at all.

  • #2
    sorry for not getting here earlier, but it seems as though you're answering some of your own questions. your baby will be young and need you at night for such a short time. if your sleep arrangment is working and you are well-rested, could you and your dh find other ways of meeting your intimacy needs? could you two snuggle while baby drifts off? could you leave her once she's asleep to get a few minutes w/him? try to think outside the box. what ways could you creatively meet all of everyone's needs, if not their demands?