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Getting crowded - what do we do?

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  • Getting crowded - what do we do?

    There are now 5(!) of us in our King-size bed - my husband and I and our 3 boys, ages 3, 2 and 5 months. We have a crib (converted to toddler bed) pushed up against the bed, but neither of the older boys will sleep in it anymore because they feel too lonely. Sometimes I have to move one over there after he falls asleep. We love the concept of having everyone close but nobody is getting good sleep now. I roll back and forth with the baby to nurse and there's just not enough space. Sometimes my husband takes the 2-year-old upstairs and that's the only alternative arrangement the kids will tolerate. It just doesn't feel right to be all separated,especially since it may be for an indefinite amount of time. My 3 y/o would like the concept of a cool new bed but come bedtime he wouldn't stand it. We have no more space to put another bed beside us (unless maybe we take out the crib and buy a twin or something). I just don't know how to resolve the situation so that everyone is happy and sleeping well. Any ideas? (P.s.our room is downstairs and the other rooms are upstairs so its quite a trek for a scared boy if we DID get him in his own bed.)

  • #2
    Hmmm. It does sound like something needs to change. I guess it's a matter of deciding what the biggest need is. Everyone together? Or actively transitioning the oldest to his own room? I think you could do either one, with a bit of creativity and flexibility. I'm just not sure which one you want more.

    If you want everyone together, I would switch the crib for a twin bed along side the king. We had this setup for a while, and it's soooooo much better than just the king! And there were only 4 of us! Actually, we still have this setup, but my oldest (4yo) has moved to her own room so it's just us and the 2yo. I'm about to switch her to the twin as well, since she does better with lots of room to roll around and sprawl out. Is there any other room for a small bed space for your oldest in the room? Like another crib mattress at the foot of the bed? Or even one of those sleeping bag/air mattress combo things for kids?

    The option of splitting parents upstairs/downstairs doesn't have to be forever. Also, you said there are "rooms" upstairs (plural). What about moving the king up there to one room, and the big boy bed in another? You could also set a timeframe for trying something out - like commit to 2 weeks (1 wk, 1 month, whatever you are comfortable with) of DH going upstairs with the oldest and then leaving when he's asleep, using the baby monitor, and going to get him whenever he wakes and needs someone. This may sound like it's a big pain, so having a pre-set trial period with a definite end may make it easier to take on. Then if your oldest responds positively (i.e. cuts down on the number of nights he wakes and you need to go to him) you'll know he's ready, and can decide to continue with the plan. If not, reevaluate and come up with something else, maybe for another trial period. As long as you're still responding and sensitive to his needs, he's not going to be ruined by trying something for a few weeks and then switching back.

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    • #3
      Those were helpful suggestions. We don't think we are ready to move him out yet so we are working on trying to re-interest him in the crib and are preparing him in advance of bedtime that he will sleep there. I've switched sides with my hubby so I can be next to the crib and he can feel close to me. It worked last night, but if in the long run it doesn't work, we'll consider replacing the crib with a full size bed so anybody can sleep there.

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