A little background...ds was born with a cleft lip and it was a challenge to nurse him. We used a nipple shield for nearly a year, we've nursed through two lip surgeries, and we've had thrush. I'm really proud of our success and I know how important nursing is to him, but I think it's starting to be a strain on our relationship. He nurses every time I sit down, so I find myself often in a different room from him and ducking as I walk by if I'm trying to make dinner or something. (he's with my dh, not alone) I'm hiding from him b/c if he sees me, he'll want to nurse...and I don't want to do that or simply need to get something else done. It's ridiculous that I'm hiding. I honestly feel like the constant nursing is hurting our relationship. I feel like nursing is all we have sometimes. It didn't used to be this way.
He has no manners about nursing at all. This is completely my fault, but I need to change it, and don't know how to start. He doesn't ask, he just latches on all.the.time. He moves from side to side to side to side. He kicks his legs toward my face while nursing. He has a complete meltdown if I try to distract him or ask him to wait or give him a cup instead. The only thing I can do to keep from nursing is to play baseball (he loves baseball) or leave the house. He doesn't ask to NIP. He spends two days/week with grammie and doesn't need to nurse when there. He's also spent the night with her twice and sleeps wonderfully. I know he can go w/out nursing, but it's like when he sees me, he just thinks nurse, nurse, nurse.
How do I get started with changing our relationship? How can I teach him to be more respectful? I think I'd like for us to get on a bit of a schedule with nursing before naps and night time and maybe once in the morning. How do I start to do that?
Thanks to anyone who understands and can offer advice.