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Stopping breastfeeding with 22 month old

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  • Stopping breastfeeding with 22 month old

    HI, just wondering if anyone has any advice about stopping daytime breastfeeding. My 22month old is extremely demanding in the daytime, pulling at clothes, crying hard etc. if I try and distract her. I am happy to keep on feeding her to sleep at night and first thing, but would really like to stop the daytime snacks. I work a couple of days a week and she's fine with my partner and mum, but as soon as I'm around she becomes really upset and wants to feed continually. I'm basically ready to stop but she isn't. Not sure what to do. Thanks

  • #2

    There have been many times over the past 3 years with my daughter when I have wanted to change my daughter's breastfeeding behaviors. I have found that just telling her what I would like to do differently and why was very effective -- both for me clarifying what I really want and why and how important it really is -- and so that she and I can work together as a team. Sometimes are solutions have ended being something other than what I thought of but that works better for her than my original idea did.

    Hope this helps!


    • #3
      A good place to start might be to add some kind of restriction to her nusing. Many people restrict nursing to certain times so that the LO learns that there is no point in asking during non-nursing times. Or, some moms, find it helpful to restrict nursing to certain locations. Having to go to an out of the way corner of the house can be a deterant to some LO who don't want such a long interuption from their play.

      Working on "nursing manner" might be helpful as well. I know for me teaching my LO to not tug at my shirt and to ask politely to nurse made me feel a lot more positive about our nursing relationship. I've found these fairly easily to teach though it often involves an initial increase in the amount I nurse. For instance, if I'm trying to prevent shirt tugging I'll gently remove my LO's hand from my shirt and ask her to use words instead of tugging on my shirt. If she then verbally asks to nurse, I'll nurse her, if she goes back to tugging I'll repeat the process until she gives up on tugging. If, at the beginning of all this, I let her nurse evertime she asks she gets the idea pretty quick that asking to nurse politely works but that shirt tugging doesn't. Only after this is well established would I try and decrease nursing.

      It might also help to find some activities that both of you like doing together that would provide her with some the attention/touch/eye contact she gets from nursing.

      Gotta run,


      • #4
        Those are some good ideas Jessica.

        I have found that sometimes when we are restiricting something (nursing for example) and the kid realizes can make them want it MORE!!! I second teaching her nursing manners. I think limiting nursing sessions will work better if you have a day or two where you make yourself avalible to nurse when ever she wants (while encouraging nursing manners) After she is less anxiety filled and "Why won't Mommy let me nurse! Is she mad at me, did I do something wrong?" or whatever and moves to another place of "I know Mommy loves me she is letting me nurse" to "Mommy will let me nurse just a little later"

        Every child is different in how they approach nursing restrictions. My 26m old is night weaned and I have resticted most daytime feedings because this pregnancy is wearing me out! I still want him to be a nursing child for various reasons so some days I have to remind him that I am still avalible. I have used the word "finished" with him from the start of restricting the length and time of some nursing sessions. When he was smaller the "finished" was soft, meaning sometimes I would realize how much he still needed it and 'give in'. As he has aged he really does seem to understand and accept this most of the time. If he insists and there are other considerations at the time (a cold, grumpy, sleepy baby etc) the meaning becomes soft again. One of his favorite times to nurse is just after waking up. I have been uncomfortable laying in the bed after I wake up so tell him "we will nusrse downstairs" Now he KNOWS that and wants me to take him downstairs right away. Sometimes I will tell him that I need a drink first and he allows me to get one before I sit down. The thing is he KNOWS that I intend to nurse to when we sit in our regular nursing spot. Maybe that is something you can do to guide her nursing desires, have a certain spot and/or times that are designated nursing times. The franticness you describe her having may just be insecurity about "WHEN will mama let me nurse again!!!"

        I hope you both figure something out that works. Please let us know how things are going!