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Nursing to sleep – sorry it's a longie,

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  • #16
    Too much info indeed! I decided when DS was 7 mths that I was not going to buy/read any more books or internet information on baby sleep! I have pretty much stuck to that, and have felt almost no stress about my baby's sleeping habits since then. My one exception was the Dr. Jay Gordon book on the family bed which was a wonderful book that didn't stress me out at all, and made me feel very secure in the choices I'm making. I can't tell you how great it felt to stop reading and start doing what I wanted instead of what the so called 'experts' thought I should do.

    Originally posted by koru25 View Post
    That 'no-cry nap solutions' just freaked me out with all the diff stages of sleep and if you'r baby has had less than an hour-half sleep then it's no good and he'll be brain damaged for life arggghh !!!
    I also read this book, and though I liked the ideas, I was also pretty concerned that my DS was never getting a 'quality' nap. Just to let you know, even though DS hardly ever slept for more than an hour at naptime until he was about 10 mths old, he has hit every one of his developmental milestones early, and I often get comments from other parents about how smart and advanced he seems. And all this despite the fact that he has NEVER slept through the night, and often goes a whole day without the amount of sleep he supposedly needs. No brain damage issues here! lol.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by LLMom View Post
      No brain damage issues here! lol.
      comforting to know! I realy should stop reading too. In fact i haven't read in a while thinking about it. DS asleep in bed now, tried ejecting himself from sling so I went with it and nursed him to sleep. I miss having him asleep on me tho!

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      • #18
        Originally posted by naomifrederickmd View Post
        Try to comfort yourself that babies change a lot anyway so even if you were not starting to do thing different he would likely throw you for a loop anyway. Try not to internalize it too much (thinking "I did this, I messed it up, I'm making it worse") because the things you describe are very subtle and seem pretty gentle. If I was there I would give you a hug!
        I second this! I did nurse my daughter to sleep until one day she just wouldn't nurse to sleep anymore. She still nurses all night long but all of the sudden it wasn't enough to put her to sleep. I kept offering and trying but even to this day it doesn't work. Now she needs to be bounced to sleep. So, even if you had offered initially it's possible that he might not be nursing to sleep. It sounds like you're very sensitive to his needs. Maybe what you're doing is exactly what he needs right now.

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        • #19
          I would never discourage nursing to sleep as it's a beautiful and special time with your baby. I'm proud to have held my son in my arms simultaneously nursing and sleeping for countless hours BUT you should also think about the long-term implications. I am just one of many mothers on this site who have posted because at some point we realized that our babies had no other sleep strategies than nursing to sleep and for one reason or another it was causing a problem.

          In my case, at around 9 1/2 months nursing suddenly bacame very very painful and I didn't know if I would be forced to wean my baby very suddenly. Weaning is hard enough as it is but when it's so tightly tied in to your childs sleep you feel even more guilty of depriving them of the only way they know to sleep. Also my son suddenly became a frequent night waker at 5 months, because he only knows to nurse to sleep, I'm the only one who must get up 3, 4, 5, 8...times a night. I love tending to my baby day and night but I have not slept for more than 2 hrs straight in 7 months and it catches up to you no matter how good your intentions are.

          I'm not saying: Don't do it. But if I had to do it over again, I would try to get my baby used to a variety of ways to fall asleep (certainly no CIO) but that's just my experience. Whatever you decide, I wish you and your LO lots of luck and an easy transition. If you decide to nurse to sleep you'll enjoy many blissful hours watching your baby so at peace in your loving arms.

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          • #20
            Hi,
            Sooooo know how you feel. Was so panicked with first baby that baught baby whisperer book.AAAAH A good friend recommended it and unfortunately was so panicked and underconfident that i followed it to a certain extent. Although we ignored most of it I put Lily in a pram and rocked her off screaming and crying for 5 to 10 minutes.At night she cried for hours in my arms while I rocked her but didnt know could boob to sleep. Poor Lily. We did however cosleep and I never let her cry on her own without trying to rock off . Still feel guilty and only found AP for the second baby. Second baby breastfed in sling practically all day I even had to go round the supermarket with her on the booby(not exagerating) was bit tiring but still have loads of milk now (2yrs later )whereas I dried up after 5months with Lily. For sleep with Jessy she didnt need very much. just half hour booby to sleep in morning and half hour in afternoon then bed at 8pm. very soon that changed to wake up at 9 am then booby to sleeep at 2pm for 2hours then sleep at 10 30pm.In the afternoon sleep She wakes up after bout 45 mins to an hour but I go up and lie next to her to booby off again then she sleeps for nother hour or so. Sometimes she wakes a third time and if she looks tired I booby to sleep again. At night I sleep next to her and she still boobies at night
            This is all possible because we have two mattresses on the floor of our bedroom with pillows all round edges to stop her from bangign into wall. Papa sleeps on the bed with Lily (3yrs old) and me on the floor.
            Only thing is will have to write my own message to API soon asking how to ween baby because am pregnant with third baby.
            Perhaps would be good idea as message before me suggests to vary the ways to sleep because it can be tiring waking up a lot at night. That didnt bother me too much though and now she is two i say that she has to wait till the sun comes up to booby. This works when she has no teeth coming through. The only thing thats worrying me is how going to get her off to sleep when im in the hospital with new baby. So if you want to get into booby to sleep habit dont have next child close to the first.


            Perhaps you are a bit like me and have tendence of overthinking? If this is so, a really really good book to read is, 'women who think too much' by Nolen you'll find it on Amazon . com. You perhaps don t need it as it is pretty normal to worry a bit, just shows you love your child, and it has led you to find answers and help, and others in the same situation.
            You sound like a really great parent. Your baby is really lucky. Don t know any mothers like you because live in the middle of the french countryside. Think of the opposite of AP parenting and that is what most people do here. My mother in law is probably the worst. What i was, and am, doing is really frowned upon so its great to read your message and see there are others out there.
            Loads of love to you and your happy baby,
            Anna xxxx
            Last edited by Anna B; 07-20-2010, 09:01 AM.

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            • #21
              Know this is waaaay late but just wanted to say that one of the characteristics of a good parent, in my opinion anyway, is that they are adaptable and roll with the punches. That is one of the main things about baby-led parenting - sometimes they will let you know that things need to change and you just need to do it, yesterday! You are doing a great job, we all doubt ourselves once in a while, write again to let us know how it's going.

              I do second one of the earlier posts about giving your baby ways to put themselves to sleep besides the boob. Also, every once in a while, you may not be able to nurse to sleep and be out and about and will want to use the sling, or let the baby sleep in their car seat while you drive somewhere. Just because you have a preferred way of parenting to sleep, does not mean you can and will ALWAYS use it.

              You may also want to boob to sleep until baby is relaxed and on their way to dream land, but not quite there, and then take them off the boob SLOWLY so they fall completely asleep in your lap (wait until you feel limbs fall free) and then only put them down. If you put them down to early, they wake easily. You can also let them sleep half of their nap on their own, then when they wake, be at the ready and boob to sleep again, while you share some sleep for the second 'half' of the nap.

              Keep us posted!

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Anna B View Post
                Hi,
                What i was, and am, doing is really frowned upon so its great to read your message and see there are others out there.
                Just revisited this thread with new post... what you are doing then is all the better, going against the grain is hard. I thought I found it hard here as in the country and most people are mainstream cry-it-out types, but your situation sounds v tricky!
                My situation has got better, and i'm more chilled with it, but now changing things with night weaning and feeling guilty about it all! Trying not to overthink!
                Thanks Anna x

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                • #23
                  hey LeoMommy,
                  It's all going great thanks, still bfing and loving it more and more and the closeness it brings. It's funny reading back to my original post when he was 5 months and now he's 14 months, what a lifetime i feel like we've been through!! he is such a wee angel! Am trying to nightwean at mo between 11ish and 5/6ish as suffering from lack of sleep. Wish I was like other AP mamas out there who are happy with bfing all night, but it started getting on top of me after a year. After 5 weeks of cuddling to sleep instead of feeding, LO is still waking a couple of times in night. I guess it takes a while when he's had it through the night for a year. I talk to him and say 'no boobie til later' not that he understands the last bit but he knows what 'no boobie' means! He's happy during the day so I'm running with it for now... at least hubby let him back into our bed which I am very chuffed about, I thought he didn't want LO in but he did! Fantastic! Love snuggling in with him!
                  Yes i find it easy to be flexible with sleeping in car/ buggy if with mother in law, so he is a flexible adaptable baby! I have learnt that usually it is the baby who is flexible adaptable, but the parents aren't!!! The amount of mums I hear saying 'he won't do this' or 'she won't do that' when if they gave LO a chance s/he just might!

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