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night weaning 14 month old

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  • night weaning 14 month old

    Before this week, I have always breastfed my 14 month to sleep in the evening and every time she wakes during the night. Recently it has more like been breastfeeding continuously all night. Quite often we both go to sleep and I wake up an hour later and she is still attached to me and if I try to detach (in order for me to roll over and be more comfortable) she wakes up again. So this week we are trying a new routine - I still breastfeed her to sleep then I put her in her cot in our room when she is deeply asleep, then but if she wakes before midnight (which she always does), I pick her up and give her a hug then put her straight back down in her cot, she stands up again, I put her down again (gently) a few times, I rub her back and surprisingly enough it is working - I say surprisingly because before I tried it, I thought she would never "agree" to lie back down in her cot and go to sleep. I keep rubbing her back and saying "time for sleep" in a whisper voice until she sleeps. It is taking about an hour or more to get her to sleep without breastfeeding. Then after having a reasonable sleep in her cot, if she wakes a second time I take her into the bed and breastfeed as normal, but not before midnight. Last night after going back to sleep in her cot without breastfeeding she slept for four hours straight, which was unusual before this week. So all of this is good and I am happy, but it does involve some crying. I don't leave her alone to cry, not even for a short time, I am hugging her or rubbing her back while she is crying. The crying is not escalating, as I thought it would, but dying down gradually until she falls asleep. Also I know her different cries now and it is a frustrated and annoyed cry, with a bit of upset in it, but not a "I feel devastated and abandoned and scared" cry.

    My reasons for trying to night-wean are - if it works over time I hope she will sleep longer periods which will be good for her, I hope to get more sleep myself (though at the moment am getting a bit less, but am hoping this will last only a week or two) and not least, because I want to begin a process whereby she eventually will be able to go back to sleep with other people besides me (eg her father or her nanny who she stays with happily during day while I work, but up to now could not leave her with nanny as babysitter at night) which will enable me to have more freedom in the evenings eg to go out and socialise without her (since she was born I only socialise with her coming too, which has been fine but now I would like to attend occasional evening event, go on evening date with husband etc without her).

    So my question is, as she is crying and I am denying her breastfeeding in the middle of the night which she is crying for, is this against AP principles ? Or does AP allow for crying so long as you are being emotionally reassuring during the crying ?